


fine wine and entwined roses

by bluejaems (miltokki)



Series: of Drunkenness and Sobriety [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Development, Jealous Lee Jeno, M/M, Mark Lee (NCT) is Whipped, Modeling, Na Jaemin-centric, Past Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Regret, Self-Discovery, liu yang yang & na jaemin are best friends, nomin vs markmin, olympus best frat, photographer mark lee
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-13 18:07:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 27,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29655222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miltokki/pseuds/bluejaems
Summary: jaemin realises he should give his all to himself and jeno wishes he could rebuild the relationship he shattered.but mark doesn't let him
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Mark Lee/Na Jaemin, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: of Drunkenness and Sobriety [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2168400
Comments: 84
Kudos: 126





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kneeshee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kneeshee/gifts).



> >   
> to kneeshee: I don’t know you personally but I believe that you and jaemin both deserve a happy ending ;)  
> 
> 
> i was going to post everything in one chapter but i realised how long it made the first part
> 
> so it's a chaptered fic for ease of reading :3
> 
> thank you for motivating me on the first fic, i really appreciate it. hopefully you like this one @.@
> 
> find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/miltokki) or [cc](curiouscat.me/miltokki)  
> to ask questions, check for updates... or just to say hi (^.^)<3

Ambling briskly across the quad, the brunette tried to avoid contact with as many students as possible. He pulled his hood down as far as he could, not wanting to be noticed as he was in a rush. 

‘Hey Yangyang!’ A girl from his department, Ella had unfortunately caught him. Fighting his urge to sigh, Yangyang turned towards the girl with his usual bright smile. 

‘Hi what’s up?’ He replied. Ella took the opportunity to walk up to him, another smaller girl with a blonde bob in tow. 

‘Nothing much, Eunseo and I are on our way to Taeil’s Tasty Treats for a bite’ she beamed, tucking a lock of her long honey-brown hair behind her ear. ‘Do you know if Jaemin has a shift today?’

Of course. 

Not just Jaemin, but Yangyang too had seen an upsurge in popularity in the past two months. The duo had become regulars in Ten and Johnny’s videos and they had become department representatives, attending the biweekly gatherings organised by Jaehyun, the student head of the business department. Jaemin wasn’t really a fan of these social hangouts but Jaehyun had a soft spot for the younger hence he always dragged him along. Yangyang was really proud of his best friend’s progress; he hadn’t gotten any closer to his photography dreams yet, but he had been using his free time to try a bit of everything else: assisting in various clubs. Basically somehow his best friend has turned into some sort of campus sweetheart. Usually Yangyang would entertain the attention he received, being the sociable guy he was. 

But right now he was in a hurry; on his way back from class, he’d bumped into Kim Jiwon from the photography club with an urgent message for Jaemin. If he didn’t deliver the message by 12pm he’d experience death by her hands. 

‘No he’s not working right now’ he smiled lightly at the girls, not missing the look of disappointment that flitted across Ella’s face. 

Taeil’s tasty treats had now become a very popular spot thanks to Jaemin serving as a waiter and barista there. Although this meant well for the business, it also meant that their group could no longer hang out there as frequently as they used to. 

‘Ahh that’s a shame’ Ella pouted. ‘Oh well Kun’s pastries are to die for, I won’t miss out’ adjusting the straps of her bag, she finally made to leave. ‘Oh by the way Eunseo wanted to meet you’ Ella said, pulling her friend forwards. 

Eunseo stumbled forwards, blushing awkwardly as she looked at her friend in mild annoyance. ‘H-hey’ she stuttered, not able to look Yangyang in the eyes. 

‘Hi’ Yangyang replied all bubbly (albeit a little hastily). 

‘I l-like your shoes!’ 

‘Uh? Oh really? Thanks they’re new actually’ Yangyang was actually pleased with the compliment as he considered himself a shoe connoisseur. 

‘She has more to say’ Ella interrupted, nudging her friend. 

‘No no you look like you’re in a rush, you should hurry along then Yangyang’ Eunseo quickly spoke. Yangyang wanted to give her a hug for noticing him and letting him go. He had about twenty minutes to get to their frat house. 

‘Thanks a lot, see you around!’ He yelled out as he dashed to Olympus, not caring about his appearance anymore. 

The Olympus House, Jungwoo’s frat, was a grandiose building which housed its prestigious members. There had never been more than 15 members at a time due to the highly selective criteria for joining. Membership generally required great talent, skill or potential, as well as influence and connections with existing members. Jaemin and Yangyang ticked all the boxes as if present and they knew Jungwoo, Johnny and Jaehyun (the highest ranking members) to top it off. 

The outside of the building was styled like a Greek villa with its white walls and modern architecture. There was a pool in front of the entrance as well as a larger one at the back. The size and aesthetic made the frat house famous for its parties. Apart from the unrivalled living space of the renowned society, the alumni has gone on to become upstanding elite members outside of university. Yangyang always wondered what was so special about a fraternity that just partied. 

Keying in the pin to the entrance, Yangyang burst into the lobby, popping his head into the living room to greet Sehun and Jeonghan who lay sprawled across the couch playing a video game, before dashing up the plush staircase to Johnny’s room. 

‘Jaem!’ The brunette pounced on black-haired boy who was on his phone, relaxed on Johnny’s bed. ‘Jiwoo noona said I should give you this! She wants a response by 12pm!’

‘Oh what is it?’ Jaemin sat up curiously, reaching for the flyer in Yangyang’s hand. The flyer advertised a photography and modelling programme. On the other side of the flyer was a number scrawled in neat handwriting. ‘I guess I should call her then’

Suddenly Yangyang slapped his palm to his head. ‘I’m such an idiot! I didn’t realise her number was there. She probably expected me to text you her number but I thought she wanted me to run to you’

Jaemin laughed heartily ‘it’s okay, at least you got the exercise in’. He dialled the number on the back of the flyer in anticipation, he hadn’t expected to hear back from Jiwoo until there was news of the president’s arrival. He didn’t dare to read the contents of the flyer after the word photography jumped out at him from the title. He didn’t want his hopes raised just yet. 

‘Hello?’ The senior’s voice came through the phone. 

‘Hi it’s Na Jaemin’

‘Oh great! I wondered what took you so long’ 

Jaemin kicked Yangyang who simply returned a sheepish grin. 

‘I’m sorry, my phone died’ he covered up for his silly best friend. ‘I wasn’t home and I gave my power bank to a classmate’. Technically he wasn’t lying as Ryujin from volleyball really had borrowed it. 

‘It’s okay it’s okay, have you looked at the flyer yet? If you haven’t I’ll summarise’

‘Ah I haven’t yet but I know it’s to do with photography and modelling’

‘Yeah so because the photography club here is quite well known, we get some opportunities that others have to compete for. This programme is one of those opportunities. There were only a limited number of spaces to sign people up for the photography unit. However I have a space for a model’

Jaemin slowly felt his heart rise and sunk as he heard there were no more spaces for him, because he wasn’t in the photography club. ‘Can’t I compete then, instead of a free space? Is- is that possible?’ He asked, his eyes screwed shut. 

He could hear Jiwoo sigh through the phone ‘I’m sorry Jaemin, you can only apply through our institution and those spaces are already taken’

‘Thanks noona… but I’ve never modelled before; I don’t feel comfortable taking a spot that could go to someone actually interested in modelling’ Jaemin could feel Yangyang patting his back to comfort him. 

‘Jaemin. The invitation was given to me on behalf of the photography club, not the modelling society. It means the decision is in my hands for who goes to represent us. The modelling society also get their own share of invitations which may or may not involve photography. I got five spaces for each unit and I’m giving four free spaces to the modelling society and one to you’

‘... I’m grateful, I really am grateful that you’re thinking out for me-’

‘but you don’t see the point in doing modelling right?’ Jiwoo interrupted. ‘Actually I have an ulterior motive. You go and model and network with some cool photographers at the event, in your free time you can sneak in and watch what the photography unit are doing, and you get to enjoy yourself in Germany. Imagine the aesthetic photos you can take there fro your feed. You’ve got nothing to lose’ Jiwoo sounded even more excited than Jaemin felt. 

‘Are you going too noona?’

‘...’

‘Noona?’ Jaemin checked to see if he accidentally put Jiwoo on hold. 

‘Na Jaemin. Do you really think i would hesitate to sign myself up for such an opportunity? You have two weeks to get ready okay? See you soon’

The call ended as abruptly as it had started, leaving Jaemin to worry about how he was to begin to prepare for a two month trip in two weeks. On top of all the feelings of excitement and anticipation brimming inside him, the black-haired boy also recognised fear. For the first time since that year in high school, Jaemin was taking a step forward to his dreams and the fear of failure loomed above him. What if he wasn’t as talented as he thought? What if he never made it? What if he discovers that he doesn’t like photography as much as he thought he did?

‘If it doesn’t turn out good just come back here and I’ll throw you a party. You’re considered an ace in the business department so you’re bound to be successful’ Yangyang assured him, somehow reading his thoughts. After all the time they spent together, the duo had become rather good at understanding each other telepathically. 

‘I’m not sure where you’re going or what you’re doing but just have fun and take pretty pictures. It would be better if you didn’t come back in the middle of the trip so we have enough time to throw your welcome home party’ Johnny had just waltzed into the room, perching on his swivel chair since the younger guys had colonised his bed. 

‘Thanks guys, I actually feel reassured now’ Jaemin said, letting out a sigh of relief as he collapsed on the brunette who yelped in response. 

‘Awww don’t get all soppy on us’ Yangyang giggled, shoving Jaemin’s tall body off him and onto the floor. ‘By the way, did you say a programme in Berlin? It sounds familiar’. 

The brunette reached for the flyer detailing the event, skimming through the fine print. ‘Oh my gosh I knew it!! My cousin Sicheng is a top model there, maybe he can help you!’ Yangyang cried in excitement. ‘I’ll text him’

‘How the heck do you know so many people?’ Johnny asked in amusement. 

‘I’m adorable’ Yangyang winked before cringing instantly. 

‘Thanks but I feel bad Yangie, I’ll try and make my own way myself’ Jaemin spoke up after deliberating for a minute. 

‘But Jaem you also need to use connections when you have them. It’s not a bad thing. Think about it this way, this connection presents you with another opportunity that someone else would die to get, not using this opportunity is a waste right? The important thing is that you’re not relying solely on connections but also working harder than anyone else’ Johnny’s reasonable advice resonated with the younger who greatly felt lucky to have such friends. 

‘Yes listen to wise old Johnny’ Yangyang agreed, immediately ruining the sentimental atmosphere. 

‘I love you guys, seriously’ Jaemin said instead of hitting Yangyang. The black-haired boy didn’t even know what he’d do without his friends. 

‘Thanks but I see us as just friends’ Yangyang smiled sweetly. 

‘Thanks but I’m already going out with Ten’ Johnny smiled even sweeter. That was another development that had occurred about a month ago, around the time Ten was leaving on some sort of internship with a famous artist. Johnny didn’t want anyone to snatch up the love of his life while he went frolicking in France, strolling in Spain and Switzerland then rounding the three month trip off with a rendezvous in Rome. So Johnny confessed. 

Anyway Jaemin aimed his long legs to deliver a roundhouse kick to both his friends, feeling blissfully content that things seemed to be going his way for once. 

‘Ooh Hendery just updated his story’ Yangyang announced as he scrolled through his feed. ‘His class is doing an MT’

Jaemin took the opportunity to also check his instagram, noticing the stack of dms waiting for him. Disregarding the ones from people he didn’t follow, he opened up the chat with Ryujin. The two had become quite good friends as he helped out in the volleyball club when he had the time. She was asking if he could come do a segment on the university radio as she was also part of the broadcasting club. Being the person he was, Jaemin texted an agreement before swiping off the Instagram tab. 

Ryujin  
  
hey jaem!!  
  
could u do me a favour and let me interview u for ryura? plsplspls   
  
ryura?  
  
come on jaem u know its my segment on the uni radio @.@  
  
do i even have a choice?  
  
...  
  
sure  
  
tysm xx i owe u one  
  
ur the best!!  
  


Looks like I’ll have my hands full. Jaemin thought to himself with a smile.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kingdom just started and i'm feeling pretty nervous  
> hopefully my nerves fuel my fingers to type >.<
> 
> also i watched it live so rip my online chemistry class. do any of you watch the show? who are you rooting for?
> 
> 02/03/21 edit!: the pics stopped loading on mobile for some reason so i've compiled the pics in a twitter thread and i've linked the thread where the pics were meant to go
> 
> TT__TT i'm sorry it has to be this way until i find a solution

Sunlight filtered through the partially open blinds, casting a spotlight on the suitcase lying at the foot of a freshly made four poster bed. The black-haired beauty gave himself one last look in the mirror before slipping on his coat and stepping out into the crisp morning.

His first schedule was a microeconomics lecture with Mrs Lim then he’d have a little break before heading to the broadcasting studio for his radio segment with Ryujin. As he walked confidently and casually to the lecture venue, Jaemin couldn’t help but compare his situation to a couple of months ago when his life seemed so out of order and when he constantly felt that he was always running helter-skelter without getting anywhere.

According to his watch, he had just under thirty minutes to get to the auditorium which to his luck meant that he could quickly grab a coffee from his favourite cafe. Hopefully it wouldn’t be too busy and Kun would be on duty; the latter knew his usual by heart. Jaemin associated the cafe with feelings of comfort and safety but lately the place had become a popular hotspot, to his disappointment. It meant he couldn’t regularly spend his free time there with his friends. Ten’s absence made it difficult for the group to have an excuse to hang out in their usual art room hence they spent most of their time in the frat house now.

Taeil’s Tasty Treats was quite full of bustling students rushing to get some energy to kick off their day but Jaemin wasn’t there to sit down anyway. He walked up to the counter, noticing that Kun wasn’t there. No one was there actually. Obviously Jisung had stopped working to prepare for his exams and Chenle hated morning shifts but how come no one was on duty?

For the first time ever, Jaemin found himself ringing the little antique bell on the counter, considering whether he should just leave without the beverage he wanted. Someone rushed out from the room behind the counter, his apron not done properly and his face slightly flushed. Fortunately Jaemin rarely flinched because the face in front of him was an image he never wanted to see again.

‘How can I help you?’ The boy asked Jaemin, an unfazed expression schooled on his soft features.

‘Can I have a large iced americano with one shot of espresso please?’ Jaemin requested politely, also maintaining an unaffected expression.

Walking out of the cafe five minutes later, Jaemin felt overcome by a myriad of emotions. Months after the breakup, he was sure that he was getting over Jeno, that the wounds were slowly healing, that he was getting better. Somehow, the negative emotions were starting to roil again after seeing that person. After seeing Renjun.

He didn’t want to admit it but something about the way Renjun seemed so normal got to him. Didn’t he feel guilty at all? It seemed as if the only person who felt anything at all about the drama was himself. Jaemin felt pathetic. And small. And irrelevant.

Jaemin actually hadn’t seen Jeno since the day he moved out of their shared apartment. His internal reaction to seeing Renjun left him worried at what it would feel like to see his ex again. It was aggravating, the way a single person could unravel all the hard work Jaemin had put into rebuilding himself.

It’s okay. Jaemin breathed. I’ll be gone for two months, and I’ll completely forget about Jeno.

The only niggling issue was the fact that upon his return, Renjun would become his coworker at Taeil’s Tasty Treats.

-

‘Thank you so much for coming’ Ryujin effused in gratitude as she ushered Jaemin to a comfy seat. ‘I know I know it was such a short notice but Yeji lost her voice’, she was adjusting his mic and headphones now. ‘You’re a lifesaver, I owe you one’

‘No worries honestly’ Jaemin laughed, settling into his seat and glancing at the questions on the sheet in front of him. ‘Besides I’m pretty sure you owe me a lot more than one’

The blue-haired girl rolled her eyes playfully ‘yeah yeah are you ready? We’re live in five, four, three, two, one… Hello SMU! The weather outside is quite chilly which could mean some of you have had to rain check your plans or you’re probably clustered together sharing handwarmers. Why don’t we start by warming ourselves up by listening to “Chilli” by svt. See you soon!’ Ryujin played the song before reclining in her seat.

Jaemin and Ryujin jammed to the song, mouthing the few lyrics they recognised. “Drip drip my chilli sauce” was probably going to be stuck in Jaemin’s head for at least a week, he groaned internally. Eventually the song reached its final hook, cueing Ryujin to speak again.

‘Today we’ve got a very special guest who has been in high demand with his mysterious vibe yet his total boyfriend material appeal seen in his youtube videos and his part-time job’ Ryujin ignored Jaemin’s total look of horror at the embarrassing description. ‘Please welcome Na Jaemin!’

Nevertheless, Jaemin regained his composure to speak calmly with his rich baritone voice. ‘Hello everyone, I hope you’re having a nice day so far’

‘I’m sure their day has become better now that they’ve heard your voice Jaemin ssi’ Ryujin enjoyed seeing Jaemin squirm so much that she regretted not doing a viewable radio.

‘You flatter me Ryujin ssi and please call me Jaemin’ He beamed wickedly. No one liked having _-ssi_ added to their name by someone they were friends with.

‘Ah in that case you might as well call me Ryujin. Do you hear that everyone? Jaemin is very friendly. You can send your questions for Jaemin to this number, this might be your only chance!’ Ryujin tapped a few icons on the tablet screen. ‘Okay we’ve got loads of questions flooding in, shall we start then Jaemin?’

‘Fire away’ Jaemin shrugged.

‘Okay, ***nim is asking a question I’m sure most of us have been dying to know, are you single?’ Ryujin asked.

‘Yeah I’m single’ simple question, Jaemin thought.

‘***nim says that quite a few people ship you with the football ace Jeno Lee because you look good together, do you know him? Personally I think it’s weird to ship two random people together but I’ll leave it to Jaemin to answer’

‘I’m sorry to disappoint, but I don’t know a Jeno Lee’

‘Got that everyone? Nomin never even left the harbour. Now ***nim wants to know if you like someone, or have an ideal type?’

‘I don’t have anyone I like, and I don’t particularly have an ideal type. If I had to mention a quality, I’d go with faithfulness...anyone that would truly love me and appreciate me would be fine’ Anyone that’s the opposite of Jeno would do.  
‘I personally agree, what’s the point of ticking all the boxes in terms of visuals and hygiene but then not actually having any love for you’ Ryujin nodded, giving Jaemin a thumbs up. ‘***nim would appreciate it if you could give her some advice as she doesn’t know whether to stay in the dorms, join and live in a frat house or rent an apartment with a friend. She says money isn’t an issue. From what we’ve seen in your videos, you seem to have experienced all of that’

‘Hmmm’ Jaemin mused. ‘I’ll start by saying that I don’t live in a frat house but I guess I can answer the question as I regularly hang out there. Choose the apartment if you want to spend loads of time and you feel comfortable living with your friend. You should completely trust this friend and agree to compromise on certain house rules. Your apartment would feel like home to you with your own personal space. You also have the luxury of doing whatever you like with it whereas in a dorm, you’re limited to the space and architecture of the room. The only difference between each dorm is how you decorate your space. Also if you don’t like your roommate then it’s obviously out of the question. Frat houses can be really noisy depending which you belong to. If you’re looking for socialising and loads of fun then it’s the best option. The only thing personal to you though is your bedroom’

‘Wow, as expected of our super organised Jaemin. I’m sure ***nim is grateful that you really went into detail to answer her question. Good luck on whatever decision you end up making!’ Ryujin responded, scrolling through the questions on the tablet. ‘Last one, ***nim asked if you’ll participate in the SMU pageant during the cultural festival next month? I want to know if you’re doing anything for the festival at all’

‘Ah I won’t be here, I’ll be leaving for a programme’ Jaemin replied, his heart tingling with excitement at the thought.

‘Really? I was going to rope you in to help us out’ Ryujin sighed in disappointment ‘and I’m sure the listeners are upset too that they won’t see you either. How long will you be gone?’

‘Two months haha, I’m sure you’ll cope’ Jaemin smiled.

‘Well then, there you have it, any plans of confessing to Na Jaemin at the festival will have to be cancelled. Follow his socials for updates I guess; I’ll play “happy without me” by mx to reflect how we probably all feel right now. Thank you Jaemin for hanging out with us and have a lovely trip and to the rest of you, have a great day! This was Shin Ryujin, bye’

Ryujin took off her headphones, Jaemin following suite. ‘That was awesome Jaeminnie, when are you leaving?’

‘In two days, to Germany’ Jaemin replied, getting up from his seat.

‘I don’t want you to go’ Ryujin looked at the floor, her voice suddenly small.

Jaemin’s eyes softened as he looked at the girl, pulling her into a hug. ‘Don’t worry Jinjin, you don’t need me to be there in person. I can be your remote wingman and I’ll be cheering for you’

‘Do you think I can do it?’ Her voice was a little stronger now.

‘Of course you can. You can definitely confess to Yuna at the festival’

-

**SOCMED POSTS**

> [pic.twitter.com/CzhVStrwnO](https://t.co/CzhVStrwnO)
> 
> — lys ;-; nomin/markmin fic (@miltokki) [March 2, 2021](https://twitter.com/miltokki/status/1366827083901644805?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts?
> 
> Also!!  
> Do the pics load up for you?  
> I still don’t know how to do the css for fb posts so I did it this way 
> 
> If you have any problems with this pls let me know >~<


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **thanks to anon on cc, i corrected the tag that said johnyong to johnten. there's no johnyong in this fic pls TT its johnTEN**  
> sorry for the confusion @.@
> 
> Also: I finally got the css for the fb posts!  
> pls lemme know if you prefer the pics from the last chapter or the format of the ones in this chapter  
> 02/03/21 edit!: i'm going to continue with the format for fb posts used in this chapter because the picture version isn't working for now :(
> 
> (make sure creator's style is on if you don't see the posts ^^)

‘Are you okay with it?’ The blonde asked. ‘Him acting like you two never met, like you don’t exist?’

Renjun lay comfortably in Jeno’s lap, scrolling through the tweets on his timeline. The latter was absent-mindedly carding his fingers through Renjun’s locks as they relaxed in the warmth of Jeno’s apartment which now looked totally different to when Jaemin was there. The couple weren’t alone though, Lucas and Xiaojun were making some sort of protein shake in the kitchen, and Donghyuck was watching a kdrama, completely tuning out the couple that lay sprawled on the sofa.

‘I don’t really care what he does. We’re over aren’t we?’ Jeno replies.

‘It’s kinda funny, seeing people cry on twitter that #Nomin was never and will never be a thing’ Renjun continued. ‘I wonder how they’d react if they knew their favourite ship actually sailed for years’

‘Junnie can we please not talk about him? We haven’t mentioned him for months so why now? I’d rather talk about us. You know you’re my favourite subject’ Jeno said all this but he couldn’t deny that he didn’t feel slightly bothered by the topic of his ex-boyfriend who he cheated on.

‘I knoww but he’s all everyone’s talking about nowadays so I can’t help it’ Renjun pouted. ‘I won’t be surprised if you fell for him again, now that he’s all cool and popular’

‘The fuck? When did you start getting all insecure Renjun? You’re cool and popular too’ Donghyuck interrupted. He probably wasn’t completely tuning out the couple then. ‘Also, Jaemin has always been like that, he just stuck with Jeno and didn’t do anything else, so not many people got to know him’

‘Are you saying I was holding him back or something Hyuck?’ Jeno flared up, calming down as soon as he felt Renjun’s touch on his knee. To his further annoyance, Donghyuck merely shrugged before turning back to his kdrama.

‘Junnie you’re the one I love, always remember that’ Jeno focused on his boyfriend instead. His small, soft, cute boyfriend.

But as Renjun pecked him on the lips, Jeno couldn’t stop his mind from wandering to the Jaemin he saw in the youtube videos. _That_ Jaemin looked like the one from years ago, when he had no worries and was just always bright and excited. He didn’t want to entertain the thought that he was the one that made Jaemin start looking downcast, so _so_ downcast to the point it became a turnoff.

Jeno’s thoughts soon disappeared once Renjun’s tongue slipped into his mouth.

* * *

**SOCMED POST**

> chapter 3
> 
> — lys ;-; nomin/markmin fic (@miltokki) [March 2, 2021](https://twitter.com/miltokki/status/1366835653737123843?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw)

* * *

_‘Willkommen in Deutschland, Welcome to Germany, dogile osin geoseul hwanyeonghabnida’_

European buildings stood impressively, elegantly looking down on the taxis rushing past on the frosty lit streets. Boys distributed the daily newspapers on their bicycles and old couples enjoyed warm coffees from the shade of the cafes that littered the street. Cute little shops advertised cheap souvenirs labelled with the national flag or phrases like “Ich liebe Deutschland” and “Guten tag!”. Food trucks decked out currywurst and potato pancakes, the aroma enticing pedestrians to succumb to their growing appetites. Jeno would love this.

No. _I’m here for me_ , Jaemin sharply reminded himself.

The air smelt like rekindled hopes, the sky looked like new beginnings and each step felt closer to his dreams.

‘It’s a shame we don’t have time to look around’ Jiwoo sighed, staring longingly at a cart of pretzels. ‘I can’t believe we just arrived and we start work today’

‘I mean we did get free places here so we can’t really complain much’ Jaemin figured, although the sausages across the road beckoned him.

A pretty girl with long black hair ran up to the duo who stood outside the train station with their suitcases. ‘I hope I didn’t keep you waiting long, I’m Gayoung, welcome to Germany’

‘No we just arrived, I’m Jiwoo and this is Jaemin’ Jiwoo replied amiably.

‘The last ones from SMU right? I expect great stuff from you lot as usual. Your members are already at the studio getting to meet everyone’ Gayoung explained, taking one suitcase from Jiwoo’s hands as she lead them towards a car park. ‘I’m going to take you to the residence where you’ll stay for the duration of the programme so you can drop your luggage and freshen up. Then we’ll join the others at the studio where we’ll commence the programme with a couple of icebreaker sessions. You’ll learn more when we get there’

They had now arrived at the minivan which was inconspicuously labelled with the programme’s logo. With Gayoung’s assistance, Jaemin loaded up all their luggage into the boot of the minivan before jumping into the backseat. Jiwoo had wanted to ride shotgun and she got whatever she wanted so shotgun she got.

‘Are you the one supervising us for the programme?’ Jiwoo asked curiously, eager to absorb as much information as possible from their guide.

‘Gosh no! You guys have way more experience than I do’ Gayoung laughed jovially. ‘I’m the editor’s assistant for the magazine. I look at the pictures and see how best to arrange them’

‘So how does the whole programme work?’ Jaemin finally spoke up, his curiosity and minor confusion overriding his introverted nature.

‘I was going to let you know at the studio but I guess there’s no harm in outlining the events’ Gayoung started, turning from the busy street into a motorway as the shops gave way for the grey tones of the bitumen covered roads and storage facilities. ‘Models will obviously work together with our stars to fill up the magazine. You’ll get experience with photoshoots, makeup and styling so if you do well and get along with people, you’ll definitely establish connections. Photographers will assist the professionals we have to take pictures of the models and sceneries to match the products we’re advertising. You’ll get experience with camerawork, digital developing and imaging, lighting and other techy stuff. You’ll be split into groups with a professional as a supervisor and you’ll start the first few weeks in training before you actually work’

‘Wow it sounds so exciting!!’ Jiwoo clapped her hands enthusiastically before whipping out her phone to make a social media post. ‘Quick Jaemin, Gayoung unnie look at the camera’. They were at a red light so they took the selfie for Jiwoo to post. ‘Wow Jaemin your fans are fast’

But Jaemin wasn’t paying attention because he couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy when he heard the activities the photography unit would be participating in. No, I’ll try my best to experience everything.

‘Jaemin, don’t forget there’ll be a photographer taking pictures of you’ Jiwoo suddenly butted into his thoughts. How could he forget? Photographers will be milling about everywhere. He could learn from anyone.

Jaemin relaxed back into his seat, feeling relieved and extremely thankful that he was with his blunt but considerate Jiwoo noona.

‘You’re like a kid sometimes’ she shook her head.

* * *

**SMU tea**  


#2203

what's up with Jeno Lee and Huang Renjun...

🤣😢❤️ Hina and 146 others

**Kim Sujin**  
**Seo Minhee** lmaooo 

**Seo Minhee**  
all i feel is pain in my little nominist heart TT 

**Hina**  
**Kim Sujin** lmao you're always the first to these kind of posts 

**Park Keonhee**  
3rd years wilding these days 🤣... the only tea on this board 

****

****

**Jang Taehee**  
**Park Keonhee** they're not wilding, they're just dating -_- 

**View more comments ([1] of [46])**

****

* * *

****

**SMU tea**  


[ADM POST]

not a submission but thank you Na Jaemin and Lee Jeno

you've boosted our engagements and our following

fighting lol

🤣😢❤️ Kim Sujin and 86 others

**Kim Sujin**  
who r u pls TT TT i'm a fan now lol 

**Jeon Chanmi**  
admin? please delete this board and yourself if possible. Why would you air out people's private lives?? 

**Kang Jinhyuk**  
cos its fun lol 

**Park Keonhee**  
**Jeon Chanmi** delete yourself boring b*tch lmaoo 

**View more comments ([1] of [17])**

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> credits for the css of the fb posts go to [this tutorial](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29665323)
> 
> if you don’t wanna comment or ask a question here pls feel free to drop a [cc](https://curiouscat.me/miltokki)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is really short i'm sorry but it's the best way for the flow of the story
> 
> also i'll be reverting to the first format for the fb posts so you can comfortably read the story if your ao3 is in dark mode!!  
> tmi: when i first started this story, i didn't expect to have any form of social media but here we are

About a month had gone past and Jaemin was just getting into the hang of things at work. The training had been surprisingly more demanding than he’d expected: He and the other models had gotten off to a bumpy start as they felt some animosity to the black-haired boy who comfortably walked into a space whereas they had actually battled for their positions.

Jaemin had very quickly proven that he was deserving as he was praised for having the best work ethic of the lot. He bonded with the members of the unit as they all struggled with the challenging daily gym requirements, their muscles and joints screaming with pain, every movement eliciting a wince or groan.

Once they were physically fit (by physically fit director Hoffen meant the outlines of their abs needed to show through a wet shirt), they practiced mannerisms, expressions and poses. Jaemin was a natural, the experience from serving customers at his part-time jobs finally paying off. 

‘Are you sure you haven’t done a modelling gig before?’  
‘And you’re really good-looking too’  
‘As expected of SMU’

But Jaemin had another reason to work hard; he needed to progress quickly if he was to try his hand at any photography at all before the programme was over. So he toiled and learned how to instantly switch expressions on command, how to highlight different products with the way he posed, how to prepare himself with the basic makeup, and of course he uploaded some of his more successful attempts on his instagram to appease his friends.

On the topic of his friends, Jaemin missed them. A lot. Ten had safely returned from his trip to the loving embrace of his boyfriend and best friends, Hendery had sent him a picture of them hanging out once again in Ten’s classroom and Johnny had posted their reunion vlog on youtube. Ryujin and Yuna were dating now after the latter accepted Ryujin’s proposal at the school festival. Oh and Yangyang told him that Jeno won the pageant without even trying.

‘I thought Lucas would have won with his greater influence on top of his looks’ Jaemin had said in surprise.

‘It’s for that reason that frat and club leaders weren’t allowed to compete. Visuals only’ Yangyang had explained.

Anyway, Jaemin didn’t really have time to get close with the other models and he rarely saw Jiwoo since the two units never mixed or overlapped schedules with each other so far. The black-haired boy had just finished preparing himself for another makeup assessment when Sharon, the makeup team head, came into the dressing room.

‘Jaemin ~ how are you doing? You look great by the way, I think you’ve become a pro’ Sharon was very nice and even friendlier when you got along with her. Her only flaw was her loquaciousness. She had a tendency to not let people answer her questions before chattering on and on. This wasn’t a problem for Jaemin who was more of a listener so she very quickly became more affectionate towards him.

‘I’m good noona, you look excited’ Jaemin smiled at the older woman who was just approaching her thirties.

‘Of course I look excited, you should be too! I’m elated - no - I’m positively over the moon! Jaemin you start modelling for the magazine today!’ she beamed at him.

At that moment, Jaemin could suddenly understand how she felt, his day became so much better. Why? Because he could finally meet a photographer!

The other models clustered around him to cheer for him. Apparently, not everyone got invited to shoot a special spread for the magazine but Jaemin’s performance so far had been exactly what they needed. Jaemin didn’t care about the reason he was selected but hurriedly followed Sharon to the location.

.

.

_About a week later_

Jiwoo  
  
you never reply!!  
  
what's up?  
  
you actually replied :o  
  
fuck you you haven’t replied for 3 weeks  
  
what exactly do you think you’re doing???  
  
this is why i don’t reply  
you and i both know that’s not the reason  
  
never mind that  
  
where are u?  
  
abroad and busy  
  
well same  
  
im doing a program  
  
i won’t even ask what you’re doing but i’m hoping it’s related to photography  
  
i want to know when you’ll be back  
  
when i accomplish what i need to do  
  
…  
  
are u still in a slump? U know u can talk to me  
  
ur annoying but i actually like you yk  
  
ik u do  
  
and i appreciate it  
  
well as for my slump  
  
i think i’ve overcome it so i’ll be back in a month  
  
:o  
  
REALLY? WHAT HAPPENED  
  
well…  
  
I met someone  
  
who completely refreshed the way i thought abt photography  
  
hold up  
  
u like someone  
  
that’s so cute but  
  
u’ll definitely need to improve your communication skills if you wanna ask him out  
  
u can’t air someone for 3 weeks  
  
how do u know it’s a he  
  
mark… you’re gay  
  
fair enough but i didn’t say i like him  
  
but u do  
  
so who is he?  
  
…  
  
mark?  
  
here we go again  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> drop a [cc?](https://curiouscat.me/miltokki)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally let's gooo!!!
> 
> i really said fuck it and double updated even though it means i don't have a draft saved for the next update TT__TT  
> the last chapter was really short tho
> 
> ah well... guess i'll just have to work faster to have something ready to post tomorrow @.@

_Vancouver children’s photography contest - gold medal in 6th grade  
Gangnam junior community annual picture event - gold medal every year through middle school  
Seoul regional photography cup - first place in second and third year of middle school  
Korea junior national photography championship - achieved in third year of middle school; the gleaming trophy sits at home right now, prize money still chilling in a firm bank account and an invitation to an elite three-month programme in Canada serving as a ticket to a settled spot in the photography industry before even starting high school._

_The papers told of a 21st century child genius whose innate photography skills already rivalled those of seasoned photographers hailed as veterans in the industry. Everyone with an interest in pictures or cameras at that time knew of Lee Minhyung, a kid with a future brighter than others. A prodigy that could only be seen every thousand years._

_The programme he embarked on meant that he started high school later than his peers, moreover the obvious difference in talent made many believe that he would end up a social recluse who would find it difficult to get along with others._

_Contrary to popular belief, Lee Minhyung was a very approachable and outgoing guy whose little quirks charmed the majority of the people that came in contact with him; students and teachers alike. He never boasted his intellect but continued to try his hardest in everything he did, earning the respect of even his seniors._

_His qualities enabled him to become the high school photography club president in his first year, going on to lead his club to top many inter-school competitions. At the end of his senior year, it was a given that he was awarded a scholarship to SMU and immediately ushered into the position of the college’s own photography club._

_But Minhyung had begun to sense a niggling feeling deep within him, a feeling indescribable, a feeling that hung upon him like a grim reaper. And he ignored the sensation that suffocated him, that shrouded his emotions, that indicated that some part of him was knocking at death’s door. He registered his name as Mark Lee as if it was some half-hearted attempt at shedding the dark shadow clawing up his throat from the depth of his soul._

_Nearly three years in, and a couple more awards later and whatever fuel that Mark ran on to keep creating artistic masterpieces with his deft camera skills suddenly simmered off. The foul and soul-sucking condition popularised as “artist’s block” had infected the young prodigy and any motivation and inspiration that he had once had in abundance had been completely consumed by the dark shadow within him._

_Boring. Bland. Basic._

_Isn’t it tragic when an artist doesn’t like his own artwork, his own creation? Mark found his photos one-dimensional and tasteless and for the very first time, he felt the difference between himself and the people around him. They just couldn’t understand what he meant when he said his photos were unsatisfactory._

_“What are you saying? These are amazing” “ahh you’re just rubbing it in” “as expected of genius kid, nothing is good enough for you”_

_Each time he heard such words, his throat clogged up even more. He didn’t feel anything, not even a spark, from his pictures…_

_And no one understood._

_Mark realised that his ability to connect with others was beginning to deteriorate, because the distance between him and the rest of his peers was too great; no one could understand him._

_“Must be lucky to be a prodigy, you’re set for life”_

_Mark hated to be called a prodigy, a genius, a whiz-kid. It was self-constricting, limiting. It was like his life was being mapped out for him, like he was trapped. He was no genius, he was simply good at the things he liked. What sort of prodigy loses his mojo anyway?_

_If his peers couldn’t pick up on the downgrade in quality of his creations, the critics in the photography industry that now monitored everything he did, definitely could. It was apparent that he had lost his “flair” as quoted by one of the spokespeople._

_The school papers had a field day putting him in the headlines, captioning him with condescending little sentences, little snippets of remarks made by envious veterans eager to prove that they couldn’t be beaten by a kid. The worst part was that they weren’t wrong; but words like “of course he’d slip a little, he’s in college and should have fun” or “high expectations would definitely pressurise and crush any little kid” or even “this is why I say training and gaining skills after thorough years of experience is so much better than relying on inborn talent” made Mark’s eyes smart with angry tears._

_Wishing to drop everything and run away from the subject was a pure fantasy because photography gave Mark’s life aim. It was all he had known and done for years. He had nothing else._

_College friends tried to cheer him up, “it’s okay you probably spent all your talent already. You’ve done good already” “This is your body telling you to ditch the cameras and actually live a little” “At least this shows that you’re human just like the rest of us” “You’re still set for life anyway”_

_Impassioned words that felt like mockery to him, pitiful glances, condescending pats on the back, non-humorous jibes and malicious posts on social media had more of an effect than he would like to admit. They were enough to change him such that two hour phone calls became two minute ones, back-and-forth chats reduced to a late reply, and even onto leaving messages unread._

_He could no longer connect with the people around him. Funny how he really did end up becoming a social recluse._

_Jiwoo, the vice-president and his closest friend Ten who shared a genuine interest in all forms of art, discussed with him and the dean of studies to arrange an indefinite leave from college to participate in various programmes overseas “to rejuvenate, revitalise and regain his mojo”. Mark was willing to do anything to bounce back to where he used to be, and travelling away was an escape from the suffocating SMU and Korea in general, as well as an excuse to cut contact with his… friends? Acquaintances? Peers? He didn’t even know what to call them anymore. Unfortunately, cutting people off became almost too easy for Mark as weeks went by, it became a habit so he didn’t make firm friends abroad, and didn’t have lasting relationships either. Ten and Jiwoo were the ones that made sure to keep in touch and check how he was faring and Mark greatly appreciated them, although he felt guilty that he never texted them first and often replied weeks later to their texts to show he was alive._

From: tenoutoften@naver.com

Subject: THIS IS A THREAT!!!

To: markmeinyourheart@naver.com

I mean it

I know you always check your emails for messages from your damn trainers/mentors/whatever the fuck you wanna call them. I'm not asking for much. Just make sure you text me AND jiwoo **at LEAST** once a month.

If you fail to do so even once, I will not hesitate to tell the dean that you're partying around instead of soul-searching and enriching yourself 

P.S. I’ve gotten you a roommate. He’s my bestie and he’s more organised, cleaner and cuter than you so dw <3 

Take care

love, Ten

_To his habitual disappointment, Mark made no progress; the only positive being that he never let his skills get rusty. One of his mentors told him to not be downhearted, but to keep working hard to have good skills and the artist’s block would pass naturally. “Wait for the spark”_

_And one day while he was hard at work, the spark came.  
It came in the form of a guy._

His name was Na Jaemin and he was intriguing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> penny for your thoughts?  
> or drop a [cc?](https://curiouscat.me/miltokki)
> 
> *sigh* no one's a simple character here
> 
> !! you should be able to scroll on the email. if you can't pls let me know !!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i really did manage to whip up a chapter today @.@
> 
> thanks for all the lovely comments about the email in the last chapter, i can't take credit for that (>~<)  
> it's thanks to a bunch of tutorials here on ao3 and online, just lemme know if you want a link  
> i'm trying to teach myself css tho (the programming used for ao3) to develop my work skin... now i'm rambling @.@
> 
> tmi: we just started germany arc but i can't wait to return to korea :') two more chapters till we're back

‘I’m sure you must recognise the man over there as Dong Sicheng, renowned top model’

Jaemin actually didn’t know who he was until Yangyang had told him about his model cousin. But the black-haired boy nodded as if he hadn’t just looked up his photos the night before he travelled to Germany.

It had been a week of photoshoots and his individual photos had been sent off to Gayoung and her team to review and shortlist. The other models around Jaemin walked around all day with their fingers crossed, praying that they would make it into a page of the critically acclaimed magazine. Jaemin had been walking around with his fingers crossed, praying he would have the time to walk up to one of the many cameramen. But with the flurry of clicks and flashes, beauty blenders pummelling his skin and clothes ripped off him so he could jump into yet _more_ clothes - Jaemin barely had time to even breathe.

One of the heads of something or the other (there were too many people introducing themselves with different statuses and in different languages) was explaining to Jaemin about the nature of the shoots he was to start participating in.

‘Well you’re going to be a backup model for him among others. Do your thing and make him stand out even more. It would be good for you to do well and get some recognition from him. Your modelling life will be smooth-sailing then.’ The man droned on and on, the good thing being that Jaemin understood that he was basically modelling with Yangyang’s cousin. ‘Run along now’

Jaemin on his way towards the celebrity was quickly intercepted by Sharon who touched up his makeup one last grueling time. 

‘Jaemie darling, you’re really lucky to be with Sicheng, he’s really a sweetheart. Behind his back we call him Winwin because anyone working with him basically wins. Just do your usual best and don’t be nervous okay hmm’

Of course he would be kind. He’s related to Yangyang, Jaemin thought to himself, fondly remembering his best friend who was probably eating with the rest of their circle right now. The sudden urge to text his bestie disappeared as Sharon pushed him towards Sicheng and the other models.

Ever so courteous and well-mannered, Jaemin approached the celebrity (who he already considered an older brother in his head) in greeting, but Sicheng seemed to turn his nose up at him before turning away from him and announcing the start of the shoot. Maybe it was a figment of his imagination but it looked like the older had given him a sharp glare.  
Shaking his head and dismissing it as tiredness, Jaemin got into position before the camera, turning off all his outside thoughts as he was taught.

Standing beside the head photographer, Mark Lee watched the models without much interest. He had spent months taking pictures of people without breaking through the block in the creative section of his brain.

The photographer, Shotaro, gave him a reassuring pat on his shoulders before commencing the shoot. As usual, Mark powered on his own camera and began to take pictures of his own from beside his mentor. Mark was really grateful to the celebrated photographer who treated him as an equal and a younger brother. Shotaro had taken him under his wing after he’d heard of his decline and he was sure the older wanted him back on his pedestal more than anyone else other than Mark himself.

Holding back an impatient sigh, Mark deleted all the photos he had taken. No doubt Dong Sicheng lived up to his name as his pictures did look quite good. But they still lacked the spark that Mark had gotten used to no longer having.

‘Patience, and a clear mind, Mark’ Shotaro mumbled as he shifted his camera. It was like the older could sense Mark’s resurfacing unease. ‘If it doesn’t work one way, try another way. It doesn’t matter how absurd’.

‘Right’ Mark replied, attempting to summon the forces of positivity to come to his side. He flexed his fingers while Shotaro instructed the models to change their poses. Closing his eyes this time, Mark tried to empty his thoughts as he took random pictures in the direction of the models. 

Flicking through the pictures, Mark couldn’t stop himself from chuckling at the blurry messes he had taken. Oddly enough, there seemed to be more soul in the obscure pixels than in his better photos. The thought was enough to instantly dampen his thoughts and cut off his laughter. 

_Wait._

In one of the clearer photos he’d taken with his eyes closed, one model had stood out, had looked directly at the camera and it was not so much his ethereal looks but the way his existence in the photo was more impactful as the only identifiable figure in a mass of pixels. He was all sharp lines and dark lines in the colourful soft blur and Mark.. Mark was entranced. For the first time in a while, Mark Lee had been able to feel something from his image; his taken-on-a-whim photo had triggered an emotional reaction from him. Unfortunately, he wasn’t able to dwell on the tingling feeling behind his ribs as Beomgyu, one of the other photographers on site, nudged him to get moving.

Without realising, the shoot had rounded up as Sicheng needed to attend another schedule. 

Camera in hand and hand on heart, Mark prayed that the feeling would last and revive his dying creative cells. 

But first he needed to take more pictures of a certain model.

‘Good work everyone’ Sicheng commended everyone with one of the most charming smiles Jaemin had ever seen. The atmosphere suddenly rose as the other backup models started to laugh, smile and cheer.

‘Sichenggg won’t you join us for karaoke after?’ one of the models, Jun asked as the other models pouted and looked at the senior model with pleading eyes.

‘Aww I’m just a bit too busy these days, we’ll see about the last day of the programme. How does a barbecue sound?’ Cheers instantly rose up in response to the attractive offer. 

‘The Dong “Winwin” Sicheng is really going to grill meat for us?’ Mingi called in excitement.

‘My cooking even chases flies away’ Sicheng stated genuinely to the laughter of the crowd around him. ‘The most I’ll do is pay for everything and display my beautiful self. The rest is up to you lot’ he said jovially. Jaemin couldn’t help but smile at the heartwarming scene before him. He had definitely been mistaken earlier.

As the crowd around the top model thinned, Jaemin psyched himself up before going to talk to him. How could he not? Sicheng is Yangyang’s cousin, his best friend’s cousin. He was going to say hi as a family friend and not as a hoobae to a sunbae; he wanted to end the conversation with promises to exchange embarrassing stories about Yangyang.

‘Hi!’ he beamed brightly at the taller. ‘I’m Jaemin-’

‘Yangyang’s friend, I know’ Sicheng interrupted, his easy smile falling into a foul sneer that made Jaemin’s blood run icy cold. ‘You know, when I said good work to everyone earlier, I really meant it. I just forgot to point out that you were the exception. In one of the photos, you weren’t looking at the camera but elsewhere’

‘Oh I’m really sorry I instinctively reacted to another camera flash’ Jaemin hurriedly explained, mentally cursing himself for making such a mistake in an official shoot.

‘How do you expect others to take you seriously when you don’t even take yourself seriously? Do you know how stupid you sound? You reacted to a flash in a room full of cameras instead of paying attention to the one in front of you. Perhaps you feel that you are too special to work just as hard as the rest of us, if so you’ve come to the wrong place and are probably better off going back to Korea’ 

With that, Sicheng turned on his ridiculously classy Italian shoes, coat slung fashionably across his broad shoulder and briefcase clasped in another hand. His smile was back on as he waved goodbye to the other staff and models on scene.

Jaemin bit back angry tears that threatened to spill from his eyes as he hung his head. _No. I won’t let another person step on me._ He raised his head in pride. He didn’t need to prove anything to “ _wInWiN_ ”. He was just another asshole to ignore and if he didn’t recognise Jaemin’s worth, Jaemin certainly did. He also guessed it wasn’t right to judge and instantly assume the sort of person Sicheng was based on his relation to Yangyang.

Another random day

Today I felt something when I saw him. In my pictures his stationary unmoving self seemed to be telling a story. He haunts my mind, like he bears a shadow similar to mine. Anyway, I have this weird feeling he's gonna cure my problem. He's pretty beautiful too but that's whatever. Who gets a crush at first sight anyway? What am I writing lmao this is why I hate diaries. I don't know why Dean Doyoung makes me do this. Or why he checks my _private_ diary. 

mark lee

_because if I don't check you won't do it!! It'll all pay off, just trust me_  
  
  
  
---  
  
Photoshoot day 2 and it’s been hours after endless hours, Sicheng is in a foul mood that isn’t unfairly directed to just one person, the models are anxious, the cameramen are on edge and Jaemin is exhausted.

Things had turned sour midway through an initially peaceful shoot. Shotaro (the head photographer) had called for a break and Sicheng as usual had gone over to monitor the photos that had been taken. For some reason, the model wasn’t satisfied with the outcome and didn’t hesitate to make his opinion heard.

‘Shotaro, these are good quality photos but they don’t seem to match the vibe of the magazine, you get me? Can we retake the pictures with the same pose?’

Shotaro who always put in his best in everything he did, had immediately agreed, apologising for not meeting the standards. The break ended as quickly as it had started and they were back to holding uncomfortable poses for an hour and a half more before Sicheng went to look at the results once again.

‘Shotaro, I don’t think you understood what I meant. Let’s do a retake. None of these photos match the vibe that we’re going for here’ and if the models groaned a little at the mention of yet more hours in front of the camera, Sicheng pretended not to hear it. At the very least, Sicheng showed how serious he was when it came to his work, even if it meant trampling on others’ feelings unkindly.

.  
.  
.  
‘Again’

‘Retake’

‘Again!’

‘This isn’t it for fuck’s sake!’

‘Now even the models are doing a shoddy job!’ Sicheng bellowed. _Maybe if you didn’t tire everyone out while screaming at us_ , Jaemin thought to himself, preventing himself from rolling his eyes. ‘Pack up the cameras, we’re done for the day’. 

Sicheng stalked off in anger, leaving the models to finally collapse onto the ground. Shotaro hurried out from behind the main camera, looking small despite his tall build. ‘I apologise for my incompetence, please take a break, this was my fault and I’ll do better’ he humbly apologised, bowing ninety degrees to first the bitter models and then to the staff around them who looked worn.

Instantly any rancour boiling in everyone’s blood seeped out of them as they looked at the head photographer, telling him that it’s okay and cheering him on before filing out of the studio.

Jaemin could feel his heart breaking at the look of embarrassment that seemed imprinted on Shotaro who was positively scarlet as he packed up his equipment. He couldn’t help but put himself into the older guy’s shoes. Shotaro really did put in his all into every single picture he took that day but got nothing back in terms of results.

Jaemin didn’t get to think for long before his phone blew up with notifications. It was the model’s group chat that he’d been added to against his will. Evidently the one week he had muted them for had already come to an end, hence the flood of messages. Jaemin held the notification in an attempt to open up the shortcut menu that would allow him to mute the group for yet another week. Unfortunately he didn’t hold the notification for long enough as the group chat opened up instead.

We sexy beasts  
  
Jun  
who knew winwin was such a diva  
Mingi  
I just feel bad for poor shotaro  
Yoojung  
what was sicheng’s deal anyway  
Joan  
ikr i didn’t see anything wrong with the photos  
Mika  
its the way he embarrassed a top well-known photographer too  
Doyeon  
and shotaro the sweetheart just apologised  
Erika  
i’m scared for tmrw huhu  
Mingi  
me too, can someone cover for me TT  
Joan  
no you’d be in even more trouble lol  
Doyeon  
anyway is anyone going out? I don’t wanna go alone…  
Matthew  
no thanks i’m beat  
Mika  
yeah it’s straight to bed for me… who knows how long we’ll be in here tmrw  
Jun  
i’ll come with you, i need a breather  
Mingi  
same i need a pick me up  
Yoojung  
lemme shower… wait up  
Doyeon  
where’s jaem is he coming?  


Jaemin sighed and muted the conversation for a year instead before turning back to the cameramen that were hard at work, packing up equipment that they were still going to have to get up early in the morning to set up again. He did want to go out into the city (as they very rarely had breaks) but something inside him wouldn’t let him forget about the disappointment on Shotaro’s face. He knew from childhood that it was never good when a photographer didn’t like his own photos.

Call it photographer’s kinship or whatever but something spurred the black-haired boy to walk up to the head photographer, for the first time noticing a guy with… _how do you not notice a guy with bright orange hair???_ Who stood next to Shotaro.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what are we thinking?
> 
> drop a [cc?](https://curiouscat.me/miltokki)
> 
> ok now jaemin finally met mark, tho he doesn't know he's mark yet *sobs*  
> so let's just say he's _seen_ mark now
> 
> and somehow i think i've mentioned every nct member in this series without even trying to ;-;


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a very long chapter
> 
> also i forgot to say this last chapter but pretend shotaro’s older than markmin here ;-;
> 
> pls pls pls click the links for the socmed posts ;-;  
> the pics no longer open up on mobile for some reason (i still need to figure out why)  
> the links will take you to a thread with the pics  
> ppl that read as i updated got to see the posts already and i don't want new readers to miss out TT__TT

‘Uhh hey’ Jaemin greeted nervously. The last time he had tried to speak to someone here hadn’t gone very well. Thankfully Shotaro offered a warm smile which sent a pang in Jaemin’s heart. Shotaro reminded him of himself, always wearing a smile for others despite the pain they beared. 

‘Hi’ The cameraman nodded politely. ‘Can I help you with anything?’

‘Would you mind if I took a look at the photos from today? Maybe give a fresh perspective… so we can overcome the problem together?’ Jaemin fidgeted slightly, looking from the curly haired brunette to the neon orange guy beside him then back to the brunette. 

‘Yeah, sure, god knows I could do with some help’ Shotaro laughed gently, reaching for his camera. As Jaemin flicked through and admired each photo, he felt something - some _understanding_ of perhaps what Sicheng had meant by the vibe or aura of the shots. 

‘These are lovely Shotaro hyung’ Jaemin marvelled. ‘I wish I could take pictures like these’. 

Shotaro beamed at the compliment and Jaemin couldn’t help but feel shocked. He had expected a haughty and aloof characteristic from someone labelled as a head photographer but Shotaro was rather cute and bumbly. 

‘Ah no no you flatter me’ Shotaro giggled. ‘Do you have an interest in photography?’

 _Pffft. An interest? Oh boy if only you knew_. But Jaemin simply nodded before turning to the boy with the camera slung around his neck. ‘Actually do you mind if I borrow that?’

‘Uh wh-what huh’ the guy gawked at him in return, looking slightly flustered. 

‘Can I borrow your camera for a second?’ Jaemin repeated, this time more clearly. 

‘Oh uh sure I guess’ the guy replied, awkwardly slipping the camera over his head and into the hands of the beauty before him. 

‘Great thanks!’ Jaemin cheered in relief. ‘Now I’m just gonna take some photos of you if that’s okay with you’ Jaemin glanced at the orange-haired before focusing on the object on his hands. He relished the weight and feel of the camera - the expensive type that he hadn’t touched since forever. 

Meanwhile the actual owner of the camera stood across from Jaemin, gaping like a fish to the entertainment of Shotaro and some others nearby idly watching the interaction. 

‘But I don’t know how to model! I can’t even do a basic pose!’ The orange-haired exclaimed in mild panic. 

‘That’s okay, we all have a first time. Just be pretty as you are and do whatever you like and I’ll make you look nice don’t stress’ Jaemin reassured him. 

‘Did you just call me pretty?’ he asked with widened eyes. 

‘Well duh, this can’t be the first time you’ve heard that’ Jaemin blinked, getting into position behind the camera. 

‘Wait wait I don’t know what I’m doing- and do you even know how to use that? It’s not a regular camera you know’

‘Freeze!’ instinctively the orange-haired guy followed the command and stopped immediately the flash of the camera went off. The model looked very pleased with himself as he admired the photo on the camera screen. 

‘Look at this!’ He gestured to the orange head and Shotaro. ‘I don’t know but I feel this is what Sicheng meant’

There was silence for a second before Shotaro fell onto the ground rolling. ‘Mark… this is it, I finally understand now’

 _ahh so his name is Mark_. 

‘Whew I’m impressed’ Shotaro breathed out, finally getting to his feet. ‘And Mark you’re surprisingly good-looking, like _really_ good-looking’

‘What’s _that_ supposed to mean?’ Mark yelled in indignation. He’d never doubted his looks before. Never questioned them. 

‘It’s the hair’ the model added. ‘The style and the colour’

‘It’s a tragedy’ Shotaro agreed. 

Mark sighed tiredly. ‘You said it was nice though’ He didn’t drag himself to work today to be betrayed. 

‘I didn’t want to be mean and there’s no way I could just pretend I didn’t see a bright head of orange hair’ Shotaro explained belligerently. _At least he’s in a good mood now_. 

‘Sorry’ he added not so sincerely as the model laughed. 

‘It doesn’t matter what we think, Mark’ the model said ‘as long as you like it it’s fine. Just do what you want’

And although the model said all this jovially, his words were serious and profound and Mark? Mark felt genuinely grateful to hear the words he didn’t know he needed to hear. 

_Forget what others think and just do what you want._

‘Honestly thank you so much’ Shotaro said warmly to the model. ‘For everything’. 

‘No it’s nothing’ the model replied, ‘call it photographer’s kinship’

‘I knew it! There’s no way you’re not a photographer’ Shotaro cried in excitement. ‘Why are you modelling? Don’t waste away your skills’

‘Circumstances brought me here’ The black-haired beauty said simply, and Mark didn’t miss the shadow that flitted briefly behind the model’s irises. ‘But I definitely love photography although I don’t know if I deserve her’

Mark and Shotaro stared at the model in a comfortable silence. He was enchanting and his words always bore layers of meaning and despite his bright looks, he bore a shadow within him. 

‘What’s your name?’ Shotaro asked. 

‘I’m Na Jaemin’ he replied. ‘And we should really finish packing things up’

The same random day

He’s unfairly beautiful it’s hard to look away from him. He’s the kind that’s hard to reach. Maybe I have a teeny tiny crush but he seems to get along more with Shotaro. I’ve never been jealous of my mentor before but there’s a first time for everything right?  
  
That’s what he told me anyway. He also took a photo of me, and that’s when I realised that no one has ever taken a picture of me before. Like a proper photo, not the “hey let’s take a group selca” or “you’re shaking hands with the president, smile for the camera!” kind of photo. It felt different, like I was getting looked at, not my camera or my talent or skills. For the first time in a while, I didn’t feel so different or disconnected from people, it’s like he broke the fourth wall with me  
  
I’m going to do what I want and I’m gonna take pictures of Na Jaemin.  
  
Beat that Shotaro,  
Mark Lee  
  
---  
  
Yangyang :p  
  
how was your shoot  
  
did you meet my cousin yet  
  
it was good  
  
just exhausting  
  
And Yh I did  
  
He’s really skilled  
  
he was nice to you right?  
  
I hope he doesn’t make it look like favoritism  
  
nah nothing like that :p  
  
you guys are nothing alike btw  
  
Yh ofc not  
  
He’s way better looking  
  
not to me :p  
  
thanks bestie <3  
  
I’m glad if at least one person says that lol  
  
I've always got ur back  
  
Ik  
  
same here  
  
anyway  
  
did anything interesting happen?  
  
not really  
  
But I met a famous photographer  
  
And a guy with bright orange hair  
  
is he cute  
  
when he’s flustered yeah  
  
Otherwise he’s more handsome than cute  
  
you made the famous dude flustered??  
  
What are you Na Jaemin :0  
  
I meant the guy with orange hair  
  
But the photographer is cute too tho  
  
:0  
  
Don’t fall for a weirdo jaem  
  
Heal properly  
  
I need to approve of him first  
  
aren’t you getting ahead of yourself ? TT  
  


**SOCMED POST**

> chapter 7.1
> 
> — lys ;-; nomin/markmin fic (@miltokki) [March 2, 2021](https://twitter.com/miltokki/status/1366838057970917391?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw)

Marker Lee  
  
what colour did you say your hair was again  
  
…  
  
It’s been about a month since your last reply  
  
orange  
  


**SOCMED POST**

> chapter 7.2
> 
> — lys ;-; nomin/markmin fic (@miltokki) [March 2, 2021](https://twitter.com/miltokki/status/1366843585832845313?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw)

Day three welcomed the arrival of nervous models onto the set as they awaited Sicheng’s arrival. The camera crew on the other hand seemed very comfortable, having witnessed the breakthrough that had occurred the night before. They had gotten to the set rather early and in high spirits, confident that the day would proceed far more smoothly than the day before. 

Only Shotaro looked a little tense, but could you blame the guy? The atmosphere of the entire shoot was riding on his ability to satisfy Sicheng with his photos. Jaemin sent him a thumbs up and a look that seemed to say “ _you’ve got this_ ”. Shotaro smile wanly back. 

Something shifted when Dong Sicheng walked into the studio with a coffee in one hand and his trademark coat draped on his other arm. However he had a smile drawn across his face as he greeted everyone good morning. 

‘Yesterday didn’t go as planned but hopefully today will be better. Fighting!!’ He called. 

‘Fighting!!’ Everyone one cheered in response, the models releasing their bated breaths as the tension building up dissolved. Sicheng was in a good mood. 

Jaemin didn’t need to look to notice how Sicheng smiled at everyone but him. The older obviously held something against him and frankly, Jaemin didn’t care. He was determined not to let any negative thought cloud his mind as he worked. He was eager to finish up quickly so he could bombard Shotaro with questions to improve his skills. He didn’t have that much time left before the end of the programme. 

‘Positions everyone!’ Winwin commanded authoritatively as the models hurried into their well-practiced poses in front of the camera. 

_1._

Jaemin uttered a quick prayer for Shotaro. 

_2._

It looked like the other models were doing the same. 

_3._

Jaemin made eye contact with Mark before focusing back on Shotaro’s camera. 

_Flash._

.

.

.

About half an hour later, Sicheng called for a break. Instead of scurrying away to gossip and enjoy refreshments, the models decided to congregate around the monitor with Sicheng to inspect the photos. 

Shotaro didn’t even look but drummed his fingers anxiously on the tripod stand which carried his camera. Mark squeezed his arm in an attempt to reassure him, ‘you did awesome man’ he muttered under his breath.

‘This is it! Shotaro you crook, these are perfect’ Sicheng cried in amazement. ‘Here I was going crazy since no one seemed to understand what I meant by a photo having a vibe’ The tall model smacked Shotaro’s back as even the camera crew cheered.

‘As much as I’d love to, I’m afraid I can’t take credit for these photos’ Shotaro smiled, a warm blush of embarrassment and relief lightly dusting his cheeks. ‘Actually,...’ he gestured to Sicheng to come closer. When Sicheng brought his ear towards Shotaro’s mouth, the smaller grabbed it and twisted it vengefully. ‘That’s for being an asshole’ he grinned as the taller winced in pain.

‘I’m sorry I’m sorry but you have to admit my point was valid’ Sicheng insisted.

‘You just have an inelegant way of putting your point across’ Shotaro concluded. ‘Anyway it’s Jaemin you have to thank. He stayed behind after yesterday’s shoot and showed me the light’

‘Showed you… the light?’ Sicheng asked in confusion whilst looking in Jaemin’s direction. The latter had been drawn into a conversation with Doyeon, Yoojung and Mingi, three other models on set.

‘Yeah, he demonstrated by taking a picture of Mark over here’ Shotaro elucidated. ‘Mark bring your camera’

Mark felt panic rise in his throat as he realised that Sicheng would see all the pictures of Jaemin he’d taken, but he had no time to explain. Passing the camera to the model felt like he was signing his own death warrant. He wouldn’t be able to live it down.

To his surprise however, Sicheng didn’t say a word. He didn’t even display a single hint of a reaction as he simply scrolled through to the photo Jaemin had taken of him.

‘Wow’ Sicheng exhaled. ‘You mean to say _Jaemin_ took this? How was he able to immediately understand what I meant too’ he wondered aloud before turning towards the black-haired model yet again. ‘Jaemin! Please come over here’

Thanks to Shotaro’s encouraging smile, the anxiety building up in Jaemin’s chest as a result of the impromptu summon immediately dissipated. _I guess everything went well._

‘Shotaro’s just been telling me that you took these photos of Mark over here’ Sicheng started. ‘Do you mind temporarily assuming the role of a photographer and taking some pictures of me? Just a few solo shots, whatever style you please’

‘R-really? Like right now’ Jaemin’s impossibly large eyes widened even more. This was not what he’d expected.

‘You don’t want to?’

‘N-no of course. I’ll do it’ and with that, Sicheng pushed Mark’s camera into Jaemin’s hands before assuming a position in front of him.

Nervousness fading away behind the camera, Jaemin had fun capturing the top model in a variety of poses. _It felt right_ , being able to portray Sicheng’s sentiment as he pleased; because the cameraman was the one _truly_ in control. It was _he_ who could choose to emphasise certain details, what themes to express. 

Everyone that wasn’t Sicheng was immediately enraptured by the pure, genuine, unadulterated smile on Jaemin’s face as he took photo after photo after photo.

‘Great’ Sicheng finally felt that he’d done enough, springing out of position to monitor Jaemin’s pictures. 

A collective gasp went around the room as the glory of Jaemin’s work was there for all to see. ‘Brilliant’ Sicheng mumbled under his breath. ‘These are utterly brilliant’

In the crowd of people gathered around him, Jaemin shone like a beacon. It didn’t help that his dazzling smile was still on display. _Put that thing away goddamnit_. Mark thought to himself, an unknown feeling floating around inside him.

Yet another random day

I guess I don’t have a crush. I’m probably just jealous. He shines so brightly in contrast to my inner darkness, it’s like I can’t reach him. He sparks emotions in his photos and his presence is soothing, like everything will be okay. He always puts a smile on people’s faces. Everywhere he goes, people remember Na Jaemin. It has to be jealousy right? I used to be like that too after all…  
  
Anyway he really needs to stop smiling because it’s so attractive, it makes me jealous?  
  
Mark Lee  
  
---  
  
‘Okay everyone break’s over!’ Sicheng called for everyone to resume their positions.

After the shoot had wrapped up on a happy note, Sicheng called for Jaemin to stay behind. So with smiles and friendly pats on the back, the models left the studio to take their well-deserved breaks.

Satisfied when the last loitering model had exited the studio, Sicheng made his way to the younger who was waiting expectantly.

‘Hey’ He began. ‘I think you and I would both agree that a chat is long overdue’ he smiled guiltily as Jaemin nodded awkwardly. They hadn’t really gotten off on the right foot (thanks to Sicheng of course). ‘Truth be told, I didn’t like you’.

It had been very evident to Jaemin that he was disliked but the thought didn’t cushion the blow of the spoken fact. He didn’t even know what he had done wrong to warrant such sentiments from the older guy.

‘When I received a call from my favourite cousin Yangyang, to _please_ help out his best friend’ Sicheng paused. ‘Alarm bells went off in my head’. He paused again, looking Jaemin directly in the eye. ‘I thought you were another fake friend trying to use Yangie for his connections. I can’t refuse Yangie to his face so I told him I’d do my best to help you out, whilst planning how to teach you a lesson’

Forgetting the unfairness of Sicheng’s assumption, Jaemin was more concerned with what the older had hinted in his words. ‘Wait what do you mean by another fake friend?’ he blurted out.

‘Yangyang has always been a sociable kid, the kind that butts into your life and makes a permanent space there’ _yep. Jaemin could agree to that_. ‘With his personality, he knows so many people from different walks of life because he could just sit down and start a conversation with a random homeless guy. It always makes me worry but even the bad guys can’t hurt Yangie because he never judges people. He values friendship a lot to the point of naivety’ Sicheng sighed. ‘He would do anything for his friends so he got used a lot and kicked to the side when they were done with him. He always put in the most effort in his friendships but got little to nothing in return. Obviously when he came to me on your behalf I was definitely not going to put up with another little shit’

‘I would never treat Yangyang like that’ Jaemin stated fiercely and protectively. ‘We’re both each other’s pillar and I’m going to make sure no one will trample on him ever again’

Sicheng laughed at the conviction in Jaemin’s tone. ‘Yes I’ve realised you’re not an unserious talentless wannabe. I apologise for judging you and treating you like shit this whole time.’

‘I was really hurt’ Jaemin replied. ‘I’ve had enough of people treating me badly. But after hearing my _best friend_ ’s story, I can hardly blame you’ Jaemin forgave.

‘Thank you Jaemin’ Sicheng bowed gratefully. ‘I also noticed how you didn’t tattle on me to Yangie. That was all it would take to get me to stop bullying you’

‘There’s no way I’d tell Yangyang that his beloved cousin was actually a bitch’ Jaemin chortled, together with Sicheng who was now giggling too.

‘I’ve actually heard from the staff about the way you treat them with courtesy and respect. That’s really impressive, especially for gifted people. Your determination to get here is commendable and you’re stunning too, I think you’d be a great fit for Yangie’

Jaemin choked on his saliva at Sicheng’s remark. ‘Sorry but we’re just best friends who love each other platonically. What you just said sounded like incest to me’

‘If you say so’ Sicheng wiggled his eyebrows to the younger’s annoyance. ‘Anyway, the editors have decided to use some of the pictures you’ve taken before, your solo shots, in the magazine. Also, your modelling experience ends here if you want; Shotaro, our head photographer, has requested to be your mentor for the rest of the programme. Congratulations!’

Jaemin’s legs felt like jelly after Sicheng handed him Mark’s camera and left. He was swimming in the clouds right now. Nothing felt real. For a long time it had always been “ _I’m going to do this to get into photography again_ ” or “ _If I work hard enough, I’ll get there_ ”. Nothing had prepared Jaemin for the feeling of actually touching his dream.

yangyang :p  
  
yangie :p  
  
When I get back im going to buy you all the shoes you want  
  
Start compiling a list  
  
And don’t hold back  
  
:D  
  
I screenshotted this btw  
  


Jaemin looked down at the camera in his hands, scrolling through the pictures joyously, a silly tune in his head. He went through all the photos he had taken of Sicheng until he scrolled just a bit too far and found beautiful pictures of…

_Oh?_

‘Hey Mark’ Jaemin greeted brightly, walking up to the orange-haired. He was helping to pack up Shotaro’s things while the latter was on the phone at the far end of the room.

‘Oh hey Jaemin’ Mark looked up at him in reply. ‘Are you looking for Shotaro?’

‘Nope I came for you’ Jaemin extended the camera towards him. ‘Your camera’ he said, looking at Mark in scrutiny.

‘Oh thanks so much! I totally thought Sicheng was gonna leave with it for a hot second’ He sighed in relief, a tad dramatically.

‘What, so you were just going to let him walk away with your camera if he didn’t remember to return it?’ Jaemin laughed as Mark rubbed the back of his neck.  
‘Well at least you now know I’m a fumbling idiot’ Mark grumbled as Jaemin still laughed at him with mirth.

‘Relax I was just joking’ Jaemin collected himself. ‘But you’re so clumsy it’s cute’ and of course Mark’s cheeks just had to betray him by flushing red. _Why did it seem like Na Jaemin could send his emotions haywire?_

‘Also Mark…’ Jaemin continued, ‘Mind explaining what these are?’ The camera was currently displaying one of the pictures he had taken of the black-haired beauty 

_And god, Mark wished he was buried six feet under._

‘Uh-umm don’t get me wrong’ He stuttered. ‘I’m not a creep’

‘I didn’t say you were’ Jaemin replied, amusement lighting up his mischievous gorgeous eyes.

‘It’s.. it’s a long story’ Mark mumbled in shame, sinking to the ground in a cross-legged position, his head hung low.

‘I’ve got time’ Jaemin smiled, a glint still in his eyes.

.

.

.

‘So I totally understand if you want to avoid me from now on-’ Mark rushed.

‘Let me be your muse’ Jaemin interrupted instead.

‘My what now?’ Mark asked incredulously, not believing what he had just heard. _That’s not how it’s meant to go._

‘You heard me loud and clear Mark. Besides, you said it yourself - I can help you solve your creativity problem. I know how bad it feels to watch your dream or love slipping between your fingertips’ Jaemin explained calmly, no trace of mockery in his expression or tone. ‘There’s something about you that’s similar to me yet opposite’

‘Jaemin, wow I- I don’t know what to say… I don’t deserve you’ Mark felt his throat clogging up. Jaemin, beautiful radiant Jaemin, was offering to help him. ‘You’re like a guardian angel and I don’t know how I’m ever gonna repay you’

‘Well…’ Jaemin started, the mischievous glint back in his eyes, ‘You can start by taking me out into town tomorrow. I haven’t really been out to explore since I came here, and we could take some nice natural photos of each other - it would definitely help with your artists block. Just me, you and your camera and we’ll let nature take its course. Yes, some lovely random candid shots should do the trick-’

Watching Jaemin ramble, Mark felt something tug at his heartstrings. _Does the heart even have strings?_ From the short time in which he’d gotten to know the younger, (barely two days) Mark had realised that Na Jaemin was unordinary and unrivalled.

And maybe he really did have a *tiny* crush on him.

Jiwoo noona  
  
noona!  
  
I just wanted to say thank you  
  
I finally got shifted to photography and I got to meet some fantastic people  
  
And it’s all thanks to you  
  
Because of you i felt motivated to work really hard at modelling  
  
And my hard work got me to meet dong sicheng  
  
Which in turn led me to meet a well respected photographer  
  
And now he’s my mentor  
  
aww jaeminnn  
  
I’m so happy for you  
  
You deserve it!!  
  
Make sure you keep a record of everything you learn okay  
  
You can share it with the photography club upon your return  
  
could it be that the president is back? :0  
  
he’ll be back around a similar time as you  
  
He told me he’ll be back in a month  
  
So that’s double good news for you  
  
With your affiliation to the club, more opportunities will be opened up for you  
  
Keep working hard and take regular breaks  
  
Noona will be here if you have any worries  
  
fighting !!  
  


**SOCMED POST**

> chapter 7.3
> 
> — lys ;-; nomin/markmin fic (@miltokki) [March 2, 2021](https://twitter.com/miltokki/status/1366846676611321856?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw)

Secretly Sicheng had conspired with the editor to exchange his photo with one of the one’s Mark had taken of Jaemin. The photo was subliminal and was honestly a masterpiece. No other picture taken so far on set measured up to the candid shot.

Ten's kittens  
  
Johnny  
  
Jaemin why didnt you tell us you were on vogue  
  
I’m on vogue?  
  
Hendery  
  
Lmaooo  
  
Yangyang  
  
It’s true jaem and i didn’t read the flier, we just signed him up ;-;  
  
Ten  
  
You’re already a hot topic on campus, this will blow up  
  
I never knew the programme was so elite  
  
Ten  
  
You better give jiwoo some flowers  
  
Yangyang  
  
No way that’ll spark drama  
  
Ten  
  
Since when did we care? Drama is my middle name and i predict even more coming in the future ;)  
  
Hendery  
  
Do you guys check that facebook tea page? They’re obsessed with jaem  
  
Johnny  
  
No who even uses facebook nowadays?  
  
Hendery  
  
I see screenshots of it on instagram and twitter sometimes  
  
Yangyang  
  
  
  
I use it, for the rewards in my games  
  


**SOCMED POST**

> chapter 7.4
> 
> — lys ;-; nomin/markmin fic (@miltokki) [March 2, 2021](https://twitter.com/miltokki/status/1366847644123938816?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note that I don't know anything about photography @.@
> 
> anyway, thoughts?  
> or as usual, you can [drop a cc](https://curiouscat.me/miltokki)
> 
> i have chapter 8 ready but the issue with photos not loading has cost me a day to *attempt* to rectify   
> i've had to link to a thread with the posts and since i've already made the posts for chapter 8, i'm gonna have to make links for that too 
> 
> after that i'll change the format for fb posts to the ones in chapter 3, then only make links for twitter posts


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for the comments and ccs!! pls don't be afraid to discuss, ask questions, rant or give your input on anything
> 
> also the germany arc should have ended here but it would make the chapter too long, so i've split it into two
> 
> note: idk anything about germany... everything is based on research ;-;  
> ('research' meaning a quick search on google)
> 
> the social media posts are in the links so pls click on them!! (you'll see when you get there). i've had to do it like this because i noticed that all the pictures in the last chapter disappeared and i can't get them to load again :((
> 
> from the next chapter onwards, i'll revert the format of the fb posts to the format used in chapter 3 (it doesn't need pictures, just some coding)  
> as for the twitter posts, idk a way to code them so i'll have to keep using links @.@

Upon his first impression of model Jaemin at the studio, Mark had considered the younger quite intimidating as he was all sharp lines, dark hair and flawless makeup. The Jaemin in front of him however, looked positively adorable with his pastel colour scheme and soft toned makeup. The younger’s appearance was practically begging to be hugged. Coughing slightly to cover up the blush blooming across his cheeks, Mark attempted to smile in a way that seemed normal and friendly.

“Hey Jaem” he greeted as the latter approached him. The duo had decided to meet up outside the studio before going on what Jaemin called ‘a journey to find Mark’s lost creativity’ and what to the casual onlooker, would look like a date.

“Hi Mark” Jaemin smiled back before digging into his bunny-embroidered tote bag for his phone. Mark had to fight his urge to run his fingers through Jaemin’s silky black locks which glittered in the early sunlight. “I found a cafe that we could stop by and- what is it?”

Jaemin had looked up and caught the orange-haired staring at him. Not for the first time, Mark wished he could be buried six feet under. “Is my hair messy?”

“N-no, you just look really good today” Mark internally groaned, cursing himself for being so socially awkward. Luckily for him, instead of being weirded out, Jaemin was beaming shyly.

“Do you mean I don’t usually look good?” He teased, his cheeks still very lightly tinted red.

“No it’s just that I haven’t actually seen you in your own clothes” It was true, Mark only ever saw Jaemin in his modelling outfits or basic tracksuits that he wore after changing out of the outfits to head back home. It was refreshing, Mark decided. It felt like he was getting to see more of the black-haired beauty in his natural element.

“Haha I was just kidding” Jaemin giggled. _Damn I’m even getting addicted to his laughter, why does he have to be so perfect?_ “Anyway thanks for the compliment, you look great too! I was just saying that there’s this cafe-” Jaemin paused again. “Mark”

“H-huh?” Mark replied, startled out of his reverie.  
“You’re staring” Jaemin tried to suppress his laughter, Mark was so ditzy it was kind of adorable. It was weird, because if it were one of his friends back in Korea, he’d be irritated if they kept getting distracted while he was talking.

“Jaem I’m so sorry, what were you saying” The older didn’t even bother to hide his flushed face as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, a habit Jaemin had picked up on. Mark always rubbed his neck when he was embarrassed.

“Are you up for breakfast?”

Tasse Kaffee was an aesthetically designed, cosy cafe tucked in the corner of an old-fashioned cobblestone street not too far from the studio. The blackboard outside displayed the specials of the day and the windowsills were lined with beautiful potted plants which greeted passerbys, beckoning them to the snug and intimate cafe. Freshly baked pastries, simmering pancakes and brewed coffee filled the air with an ambrosial aroma which welcomed customers inside. _I should get some flowers for Taeil’s Tasty Treats_ , Jaemin thought to himself.

“ _Wow_ ” Mark breathed as they chose a window seat, staring wistfully around the cafe and at the dainty tablecloths which adorned each table.

“I know right” Jaemin marvelled, picking up the menu in front of him. From what he saw, the meals were fairly priced, despite the warm yet elegant ambiance of the place. “My friend would say it’s very instagram-worthy” He added, feeling reminiscent of Hendery.

“I’d love to keep ogling the place but I’m getting kinda hungry” Mark was NOT going to have his stomach growling in front of Jaemin. He’d probably mistake it for an engine anyway. “The blackboard outside said there’s a special discount on the frankfurter and pancakes combo today”

“Sounds good, and I want to try German coffee,” Jaemin concurred after perusing the menu still in his hands.

“Okay I’ll go up and ask for two German coffees too” Mark said, getting to his feet while patting his pockets to make sure he had his wallet on him.

“Are you sure you want it? I heard it’s quite bitter” Jaemin asked in concern. He didn’t want to lead the older into spending money on something he wouldn’t like.

“Nothing sugar can’t solve” Mark shrugged simply. “Don’t worry, I’m buying it of my own accord” and with that, the orange-haired departed for the counter where a middle-aged man smiled pleasantly at him.

“Hi! Could I have two servings of the special breakfast set A with two German coffees please?” Mark requested politely.

“Are you sure you want to try this coffee? It has brandy in it” The man warned, a slight smile on his face. Tourists always tried it for the novelty and ended up disliking it.

“Brandy?” Mark asked blankly.

“ _Kirschwassen_ ” The man replied. “A brandy made from fermented cherries but it isn’t sweet at all. We mix it in with the coffee and top it off with whipped cream”

“I’ll take it, I’m sure sugar and the whipped cream will deal with any bitterness” Mark said jovially.

“Sugar only covers up the bitterness without actually taking it away. Sometimes it’s better to endure that bitterness knowing that you’ll cleanse your tongue with something sweet later. When that happens, you’ll notice that you are now more tolerant to bitterness” The old man chuckled knowingly. “Today I’ll give you a special couple’s discount for listening to my words”.

“You sure do seem to love coffee a lot” Mark goggled in awe “and I think you’ve misunderstood my relationship with-”

“Here, take this and don’t keep him waiting” The man ushered, handing a tray full of food to Mark. “It’s never good to make your partner wait” Then giving Mark a light push, the man winked nostalgically.

_Boy did he enjoy imparting wise words of advice on dense young adults._

Breakfast turned out as delectable as the cafe looked; Jaemin and Mark had to coax themselves not to immediately dive in until they’d taken some suitable photos. Each mouthful was pure and utter bliss and just as they were about to climax and hit their foodgasm, Mark just had to sip his coffee.

It started with his face contorting as if he was subjected to a crucius curse. His eyes screwed shut as he struggled to swallow the morbid drink, his face losing all colour. The coffee had no intentions of sparing Mark though; immediately he succeeded in getting it down his throat, he began to splutter. In a heartbeat Jaemin was up and rubbing his back, automatically ceasing his giggles.

Recovering from the temporary coffee attack after the cafe owner had brought him a glass of water, Mark realised that he’d unknowingly decorated Jaemin’s sweater with death drink: the same death drink that Jaemin was currently downing like water even without the embellishments of extra milk and sugar. After countless embarrassing moments, Mark couldn’t even be ashamed of himself anymore. He’d more or less given up on himself.

“Jaem I’m so sorry, here do you wanna borrow my jacket? I’ll pay to clean your sweater” he apologised to the younger, feeling bad for constantly making clumsy mistakes when they’d barely started the day.

“It’s okay Mark, I was planning to look around the shops anyway” Jaemin ( _who was such an angel_ ) reassured him. “For now I’ll pretend it’s art”

“Okay let’s look for a new sweater first then” suggested Mark, still feeling apologetic towards the younger. “And if you’re not happy about something please just say so okay, you don’t always have to be so considerate. Do things for you”

“...” It was Jaemin’s turn to stare at Mark. “Thanks Mark, I’ll keep that in mind”

“Alright then let’s go?” Mark coughed, trying to get rid of the awkward atmosphere. Apparently he was the only one feeling awkward as Jaemin smiled brightly as he thanked the cafe owner.

“Whenever you come again, your next order will be on the house” The man beamed back at the black-haired boy.

“Really? But why?” Jaemin expressed in pleasant surprise. He hadn’t really had any interactions with the man.

“You’re the only one that’s been able to finish the German coffee”

“Seriously? I really enjoyed it by the way” Jaemin replied happily. “Maybe it’s because I used to drink my americanos with eight shots of espresso”.

The expression on Mark’s face was one Jaemin was familiar with anytime someone new found out about his strange coffee preference. However, the cafe owner looked unfazed. “Why did you stop” He asked curiously.

Jaemin swallowed at the painful memory, suddenly plunged into the ghosts of his past, _of Jeno_. “Someone told me it wasn’t healthy and they would cut all ties with me if I didn’t stop”

“That person must have really cared for you” The man whistled softly.

“Yeah I guess he did” and just for a second, Mark caught a second glimpse of a shadow behind the younger’s eyes. More than a shadow, it was more like a lingering poignant sadness. He wanted to envelope Jaemin into his arms.

“Too much bitterness isn’t good either. A balance is required and sweetness to cleanse your tongue” The man muttered quietly. “Thanks for coming to Tasee Kaffee and please do visit again”

The duo bade the man goodbye, their bellies full, their brains riddled with the cafe owner’s confusing words which seemed to bear double meanings, and their hearts excited to go out into the western city.

The boys had been wandering around the city without a guide or a map (because again Jaemin had thought it would make for more sentimental photos if they came across an alluring location by chance. _Serendipity, he called it_ ).

While they really had found some truly scenic spots, a proper clothes shop was still elusive after about an hour of walking around (taking breaks of course). It was getting quite tiring as they swapped carrying Jaemin’s tote bag that was now laden with trinkets and souvenirs they’d picked up in the cute little stores around them. Just as Jaemin was about to surrender and open up his map app, Mark spied a shop’s display window.

“Jaem look! Scarves!!” He almost cried in relief. “It’s not a sweater but it’d still cover you up” Tugging Jaemin’s arm towards the shop in excitement with a renewed burst of energy, Mark failed to realise the tell-tale blush spreading across Jaemin’s face at the sudden contact.

The shop’s interior provided respite to the duo from the cold outside. Looking around the little boutique, they quickly realised that Mark had found a goldmine. Boasting a range of different styles ranging from vintage to goth to casual to bohemian for cheap prices, the scarves on display didn’t do justice to the contents of the store. If they hadn’t been desperate, they would have simply walked past the nondescript shop.

Jaemin and Mark gradually split apart as they were drawn to different clotheslines, fingers moving clothes aside and eyes roving over each hanger. “Markie?” was all it took for Mark to rush to the younger’s side. “What do you think of this hoodie?” He asked, indicating a big mint green hoodie.

Analysing the hoodie with his photographer’s eye, he could imagine Jaemin looking so small and cuddly with the sleeves of the hoodie running way past his pretty hands. He swallowed deeply. “I’ll buy it for you, you’d look cute. Really cute”

Jaemin was really blushing this time at the direct compliment; the absence of Mark’s usual stutter didn’t allow him to compose himself. “Ahh what are you saying Mark? You haven’t even seen me wear it yet” The younger mumbled before quickly disappearing off into another aisle of clothes.

**SOCMED POST**

> [pic.twitter.com/PISzJqAcbU](https://t.co/PISzJqAcbU)
> 
> — lys ;-; nomin/markmin fic (@miltokki) [March 2, 2021](https://twitter.com/miltokki/status/1366872636110888960?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw)

Mark couldn’t help but smile when he saw the mint green hoodie in the younger’s basket. It felt really satisfying to be the one doing the flustering this time. Focusing back on his shopping, he soon realised that he didn’t feel like getting anything for himself. He didn’t really go out anyway. Browsing through yet another rack of clothes, Mark found what he considered the holy grail: 

_Matching hoodies._

Discreetly paying for the hoodies, Mark headed to where he spotted Jaemin’s head of luscious black hair from an aisle a distance from where he stood. “Jaem are you done?”

“Yeah- wait did you buy your stuff already?” Jaemin asked in surprise and mock betrayal. “What did you get then? I hope it’s not more orange hair dye”

“No I didn’t don’t worry” Mark rolled his eyes playfully at the younger’s jab. “But I thought these were cute but I understand if you don’t want it-” he went back to being awkward.

“Oh my gosh! Matching hoodies!! This is such a cute idea I’m mad I didn’t come up with it first” Jaemin exclaimed, picking one of the hoodies from Mark’s shopping bag and tugging it on so quickly Mark had no time to blush. “Hurry and put yours on, I just had a great idea”

Jaemin waited impatiently as Mark paid for his new green hoodie, immediately dragging him out to a store they had walked past before. _Der Friseur_ literally translated to ‘the hairdresser’s’ and was the main point of Jaemin’s “great idea”.

“Uhh what are we doing here Jaem?” Mark asked, feeling baffled.

“We’re going to dye your hair” Jaemin announced proudly. “Don’t worry, you get to choose the colour”

“No way” Mark refused, stubbornly backing away from the shop. “I thought you said I could do what I liked” He added, feeling a little betrayed.

“I _did_ but this is a sign of the change you’re making” Jaemin tried to coax the older. “It’s a memory and you still get to choose the new colour”

"You know you really have a way with words" Mark thought aloud.

Jaemin shrugged "I'm a business major after all"

Mark blinked in surprise, it was unexpected after all. The younger definitely had a lot more layers to him that Mark was intent to keep unraveling. "I thought you'd be a photography or modelling major"

Shrugging once more with a slight smile, Jaemin tried again to convince the older. "So can we get your hair dyed?"

Mark contemplated for a while before choosing his response. “I’ll only dye my hair on the condition that you dye yours too” He smirked.

Jaemin’s face fell, replaced with an expression of unfairness and horror. “But Mark you know how lovely my black hair is… and I only just went back to my natural hair. Do you want me to go bald?”

“A deal’s a deal” Mark shrugged. “You’re also going through a change right? _Memories_ right? It takes two, Na Jaemin”

“Fine” Jaemin sulked, stomping into the store.

-

**SOCMED POST**

> chapter 8.2
> 
> — lys ;-; nomin/markmin fic (@miltokki) [March 2, 2021](https://twitter.com/miltokki/status/1366872935328317446?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw)

-

Somehow evening quickly encroached on Jaemin and Mark as they enjoyed exploring the nooks and crannies of Berlin, making mental notes to visit certain areas. Along with the darkness of dusk came the familiar feeling of hunger. Like an oasis in the middle of a sweltering desert was a street food vendor selling warm and enticing pretzels. It took one look at each other for the duo to telepathically communicate.

A few minutes later and they were snacking on their tasty pretzels and ice cream, satisfied as they ate in a comfortable silence. The silence was suddenly punctuated by Mark’s laughter and at that moment, Jaemin decided he quite liked the older’s laughter; it was infectious and imbued with happy vibes. So Jaemin laughed too and suddenly they were in hysterics.

“Why… are we... laughing?” Jaemin wheezed, doubled over clutching his stomach which ached with laughter.

“It’s because… I just thought about… how we’re licking ice cream on a cold day” Mark gasped as he cracked up again.

Jaemin was perplexed at what was so funny about the situation, but he still _sort of_ understood where Mark was coming from. The main thing though, was how _effortlessly pretty_ Mark looked when he giggled with that childlike innocence- so… so _carefree_.

“Wow laughter really looks pretty on you” he found himself blurting out. It was enough to sober Mark up right away, his facial complexion transitioning into a worrying shade of red for the nth time that day. They finished the rest of their food in silence.

“Let’s go make our last stop at Brandenburg Gate” Jaemin suggested. “I heard it’s a must see and it looks amazing at night”

The tourist attraction was truly a sight to behold, the columns standing majestically looking similar to the parthenon in Athens. Mark and Jaemin were left in awe of the historical landmark, silently springing into uninterrupted picture taking. The classic architecture of the gate bitterly reminded Jaemin once more of his ex-boyfriend.

_Nana! One day I’m gonna build a monument and dedicate it to you_

Willing himself to slip out of his painful memories, Jaemin focused on the statue sitting atop the gate.

“That’s the goddess of victory” Mark cut into his thoughts, following the gaze of the younger. “This gate is surprisingly meaningful. It’s the site of wars and strife yet it symbolises unity and peace.”

“That means that we who are going through our own difficulties will eventually find inner peace” Jaemin closed his eyes, breathing in.

Mark who was now staring at Jaemin in admiration, joined the latter in closing his eyes. “That’s really deep. Tell me more” he breathed in too, inhaling the frosty yet soothing air.

“During the day, this gate looks pretty imposing but kinda ordinary? But at night it shines so brightly. It’s just like the moon. If you think about it, it means that we keep working hard, striving for our dreams and happiness but sometimes it feels like we aren’t making much progress. But at the end of the day it’ll pay off, and we’ll shine brightly”

_I don’t know what you went through but you already shine brightly Jaemin_ , is what Mark desperately wanted to say but his throat felt clogged up. When he finally opened his eyes, the younger wasn’t beside him any longer but dancing to the tune of a street player’s saxophone a few feet away. Some onlookers gathered and cheered him on as he danced, they were smiling, the busker was smiling and most importantly, Jaemin was smiling.

The lights from the monument and the street lamps illuminated Jaemin; he shimmered like a full moon, drawing everyone around him towards him. In that moment he was so devastatingly beautiful that Mark silently lifted his camera and did the world a favour by capturing the scene.

First hangout day

There’s no one more beautiful than him.   
  
---  
  
Exhaustion only caught up with the duo by the time the uber parked outside the residence provided by the programme. It was very dark yet the light from the streetlamps kept the street awash with illumination.

Being the gentleman he was, Mark got out of the taxi with Jaemin, escorting the latter to his doorstep whilst pretending Jaemin’s housemates weren’t spying on them through the first floor window. “Jaem…” he started as the younger was about to unlock his door, waiting for his full attention before continuing. “I just wanted to say thanks for this amazing day… this is the most fun I’ve had in a long long time and I also feel like my mojo is really coming back. I took some really satisfying photos. Honestly I wish we could do this again…” He trailed off shyly.

“Of course we’re doing this everyday Markie, We’re definitely going to fix your artists block so we need to go out and have fun and take photos” Jaemin grinned, unaware of how fast he was making Mark’s heart beat. “I heard Victory Column has a great view of the city but it’s quite a climb! Also I got this for you…” He became shy too as he reached into one of his shopping bags, handing the older a baby tiger plushie.

Mark’s eyes widened as he accepted the gift. “This is adorable, thanks so much but when did you even have the time to get it?”

“You went to the toilet and I saw it in a shop window and thought it looked like you. I got myself a matching bunny one” Jaemin explained as Mark smiled widely like a fool. “You got us the hoodies and paid for our food and the taxi, it’s the least I could do-” But Mark just ruffled his hair, finally succumbing to his desire.

“Goodnight Jaem, sleep tight and see you tomorrow” He waved goodbye to the younger before stepping back into the taxi, leaving Jaemin standing at the doorstep with his shopping bags on the ground, his eyes wide open and his face the most crimson it had ever been.

**SOCMED POST**

> chapter 8.3
> 
> — lys ;-; nomin/markmin fic (@miltokki) [March 2, 2021](https://twitter.com/miltokki/status/1366875935841148929?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> does this count as markmin fluff? :3  
> were you able to see the posts?
> 
> what are we thinking?  
> drop a [cc?](https://curiouscat.me/miltokki)
> 
> i think there's about ten chapters left btw ^^


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're now officially halfway through the story hehe  
> thanks for all the love up till now @.@
> 
> also dreamie 00' line vlive !!!  
> best. day. of. the. year.  
> i think they're hinting at a cb and i'm living for it

**SOCMED POST:**

> chapter 9.1
> 
> — lys ;-; nomin/markmin fic (@miltokki) [March 5, 2021](https://twitter.com/miltokki/status/1367980544332619782?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw)

Mark Lee  
  
mark you didn’t tell me that you were at the same programme as me!!  
  
tbf you didn’t tell me what programmed you were at  
  
but i told you that i was at a programme in germany  
  
you didn’t read it  
  
sorry  
  
you know how i am with these things  
  
i know  
  
but you’re going to need to fix that  
  
otherwise how will you take care of your bf  
  
and speaking of your bf  
  
hold on ten’s texting me  
  


Chuu  
  
jiwoo!!!!!!  
  
dont tell mark about jaemin  
  
whatever you do don’t tell either of them that you know the other  
  
wow you caught me just in time  
  
how did you know??  
  
i had a hunch  
  
anyway, why?  
  
let the story unravel itself  
  
it’ll be more interesting  
  
besides i think it’s better this way for them to develop  
  
whatever you say sensei  
  
woah that rhymed  
  
oh honey...  
  


With how swiftly a month went past, mixed feelings of sadness and joy emanated into the air. The atmosphere at the Vogue studio was filled with the dread of parting as the students began to pack their things to return to their respective schools. On the other hand, SMU was buzzing with anticipation for the return of the popular college heartthrob.

As opposed to his first month in the European country, Jaemin had spent his last month leisurely and to his pleasure. He no longer had to pay attention to his diet nor was he obliged to work out. His days consisted of chilling behind the cameras with Mark while learning from Shotaro, exploring Berlin with Mark…

Come to think of it, all Jaemin’s days were now occupied with Mark. The two had gotten to know much more about each other; it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to claim that it was difficult to remember a time when they _hadn’t_ known each other. 

Anyway it was the last day for most of the students on set (some were staying for extended internships or other programmes). Absolutely no one was in the mood for any serious work. 

“The director says you can do as you like for today” Gayoung had informed them, the smile from the first day still on her face. “Have fun!”

And they had fun. 

It barely took a minute for the models to round on the currently blue-haired boy who was chatting obliviously with Mark. 

Jaemin’s eyes widened in shock when he was suddenly accosted by Jun and Mingi; he was quickly dragged across the studio to the makeup stands where Doyeon and Yoojung waited eagerly. 

“Uh what’s going on??” He asked in slight alarm as he felt hands going through his fluffy hair. His attempts to look around failing as one of the girls kept him locked in place. 

“Relax Jaem, you’re in good hands” A voice, Yoojung’s, giggled. Jaemin figured he had no choice, so he tried to relax and let them do as they pleased, wondering why his last day couldn’t go as peacefully as he had planned. 

“Okay we’re done!” Yoojung yelled, signalling to Minghao and Erika to wheel the blue haired boy in front of the camera. 

“I think we need a prop, like fruit or something” Minghao suggested. 

“He likes peaches” Mark spoke up, sparking a temporary feeling of betrayal in Jaemin. 

“Now Jaemin you need to pose” Jun instructed as Shotaro fiddled with the camera in front of him. 

“You know, if you wanted to take a photo of me you could’ve just asked” Jaemin chuckled as he got comfortable in front of the lens. 

“Yeah but where’s the fun in that?” Mingi replied to the assent from the other models. 

“Fair enough”

**SOCMED POST:**

> chapter 9.2
> 
> — lys ;-; nomin/markmin fic (@miltokki) [March 5, 2021](https://twitter.com/miltokki/status/1367982670093942784?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw)

Olympians w/o Jaeminie  
  
**Johnny** added Ten  
**Yangyang** added Hendery  
Jungwoo  
  
who dares trespass the sacred gc of olympus  
  
Johnny  
  
ten didn’t want to repeat himself   
  
so he’s saying it here  
  
Ten  
  
Jaem comes back tmrw  
  
yk what that means?  
  
Jaehyun  
  
a welcome party ofc  
  
a huge one  
  
Jungwoo  
  
we’ll make it open for all  
  
Jeonghan  
  
so many ppl miss him ngl  
  
Ten  
  
we need a venue, food and drinks, invitations, publicity, decorations, a photo booth, a theme and dress code, music  
  
Yangyang  
  
this isn’t a wedding 😭  
  
Jungwoo  
  
🤡  
  
Hendery  
  
👁👄👁  
  
Ten  
  
sorry  
  
got too excited and accidentally copy pasted my plans for his wedding  
  
Johnny  
  
what?  
  
Ten  
  
what?  
  
anyway  
  
we just need venue, drinks, decorations, music and publicity  
  
Jungwoo  
  
we can do it here  
  
no one would want to pass on an opportunity to enter olympus  
  
and I’m sure Taeyong and yuta hyung will let us get drinks from their club  
  
Jeonghan  
  
how we gonna transport them tho?  
  
Sehun  
  
we can use my truck  
  
Minhyuk  
  
I have a DJ friend that can handle the music  
  
Yangyang  
  
I can contact Jaem's friend Ryujin from the radio  
  
Jaehyun  
  
I’ll inform the business department  
  
Ten  
  
great I’ll borrow supplies from the art dept  
  
thanks guys  
  
Yangyang  
  
jaem will rly appreciate it  
  
Jungwoo  
  
come on now  
  
he’s one of us   
  
Jaehyun  
  
do u think he’ll cry?  
  
happy tears I mean  
  
Hendery  
  
no one thought you meant anything else 🤡  
  
Jeonghan  
  
well he better not  
  
we need him in a stable state of mind  
  
so he can spill the tea on this guy of his  
  
Ten  
  
ooh 👀  
  
Johnny  
  
give him a break  
  
he would've just got back  
  


Rays of sunlight brightened the pale blue sky and the clouds were fluffy and white. It was a good day and nothing could dampen the high spirits of Ten, Hendery, Yangyang and Johnny.

The quarter were headed for the well-loved cafe, Taeil’s Tasty Treats to invite Jaemin’s coworkers, Kun, Chenle and Jisung, to the welcome party at the Olympus frat. 

The popular cafe wasn’t as busy as it usually was, and to the group’s delight, their usual table was free! Without hesitating, they stormed straight for it, breathing a sigh of relief as they sank into their seats. 

“Damn it’s been a while” Hendery exhaled. 

“Yeah” Ten concurred. “Anyway where’s Kun? I didn’t see him when we burst in”

“He’s probably in the kitchen behind the counter” Johnny suggested. “It’s not like it’s busy here or anything”

“Still it’s odd that there’s no one behind the counter” Yangyang spoke up. “Taeil doesn’t like it when it’s left unattended” he added with a frown. 

“Oh look, someone’s coming” Hendery pointed out as the boys turned to look towards the counter. Immediately they saw who was on duty, all four of their faces soured. 

Renjun’s eyes widened slightly once he recognised Ten and Yangyang from that fateful night before they returned to their normal size. Mouth settling into a smirk, he walked towards the quartet. 

“What’s wrong? Did your famous best friend ditch you for his new fancy model friends?” He laughed. 

“Shouldn’t you worry more about your bf ditching you for our famous bestie?” Hendery countered. 

And if they saw Renjun’s face fall for a second, they pretended they didn’t. 

“We better not even _smell_ you or your cheating boyfriend or your gormless friends anywhere near the party” Ten warned the younger, no trace of amusement in his tone or expression. 

“But hyung I thought the party was open for all?” Chenle, a first year, had just stepped into the cafe for his shift. He had evidently heard the information from ryura. 

“Yes Chenle but the party is open to all _people_ ” Ten sighed. “You get me?”

“Look Renjun, don’t you have work to be doing? Or are you gonna cheat your way out of that too?” Yangyang, who was silent, finally lashed out. There was a slight gasp before Johnny intervened. 

“Guys stop it. Chenle please go with Renjun and pass on our invitation to Kun and Jisung whenever he gets here okay?”

Chenle nodded slightly mystified, before escorting the older Chinese boy into the room behind the counter. 

The oldest of the quartet waited a beat before scolding the group. “You guys were rude”

“Really? Great because that was my intention” Ten sassed. 

“It’s not great. You guys shouldn’t stoop to the level of those people by turning into bullies. You guys ganged up on him” Johnny continued. 

“I’ve never ever said I was a good person before. I won’t be nice to someone that hurt my best friend” Hendery spat ruthlessly. 

Hendery wasn’t the only person that was mad: Yangyang hadn’t said a word; his hands were curled into fists as he stared outside the window while Ten was positively shaking like he was about to erupt. 

“Johnny Johnny ever the voice of reason” Ten started dangerously. “You weren’t there. You weren’t there in the room at that club. I myself was only in there for a few minutes but the air in there felt like knives were being thrown. It was piercing. Imagine how Jaemin felt, he was in there longer” Ten was speaking quietly yet it felt like he was roaring. He even had Yangyang’s full attention. “That thing (he indicated to the room which Renjun walked into) and that cheating bastard and their scum friends were ganging up on Jaemin. Jaemin was lying in a corner because he got _punched_. They ganged up on him when he was most vulnerable, when he had caught the one he loved the most _cheating_ with that thing in there. And guess what?” Ten paused, they were hanging on his every word. “They made him the villain and yelled at him and pointed at him while he lay in that corner, taking it all. Where was poor little Renjunnie? He was protected as the small little ‘victim’ he is. He gets away with anything because he’s small and cute while I do something and I get treated like an irritable wasp. Don’t you dare protect him”

There was silence for about two minutes as they marinated in Ten’s words. It was the first time Johnny and Hendery were hearing the full details of the incident. Ten had simply said that Jeno had been caught cheating with Renjun while Jaemin and Yangyang refused to give any more input, choosing to forget the incident entirely. 

“I understand why you’re mad Ten, but ganging up on someone is doing the exact same thing and it doesn’t make it any better. If you wanna deal with someone, don’t be crude but move on and let karma do its job. It’ll all be worth it when you’re happy and the other person is full of regret. And since when did you become insecure about your size? Big or small you’re the perfect size for me” Johnny concluded, smiling softly at his now blushing boyfriend. 

The air was now filled with gagging noises as Yangyang and Hendery cringed at Johnny’s genuine but cheesy line. 

“I’m sorry but Yangyang and I have an appointment with the arcade. We gotta go” Hendery hurriedly excused himself and Yangyang from the affectionate scene. 

Once the duo had departed from the cafe, Ten beaned up at his tall boyfriend. “Tell me more about how perfect I am”

“Babe I could write a whole thesis”

“Hmm… too long. How about you show me” Ten smirked evilly, his long eyelashes fluttering. 

“I guess we better get out of here then” Johnny replied with a matching smirk. 

For Mark, the past month had been the best in years. He’d fully gotten his mojo back thanks to Jaemin, and this development had led him to go on to take many more iconic photos for the magazine. Newspapers wrote about him again and again but he wasn’t as anxious this time around. It wasn’t enough to get him back on social media, but he could check out the news now.

From: snapshoot@gosecorp.com

Subject: Snapshoot Programme 20XX

To: markmeinyourheart@naver.com

Attached:  snapshootparticipants.doc (9 KB) 

Dear Mark Lee,  
We are pleased to see the excellent progress you’ve been making in evolving your photography ability.

As such, we would like to further aid and monitor your growth by extending a formal invitation to our biennial one month programme for young, gifted and talented photographers.

The information is provided in the attachment above. For more details please contact our help desk at 017-534347334 or visit our website at www.goingsvt.org/snapshoot 

Please confirm your spot and we’ll look forward to seeing you soon!!

Yours sincerely,  
Joshua Hong  
Managing Director  
Going Seventeen Corporation

From: snapshoot@gosecorp.com

Subject: Snapshoot Programme 20XX

To: nanajaemin@naver.com

Attached:  snapshootprogramme.doc (9 KB) 

Dear Na Jaemin,  
We just wanted to let you know that your efforts in the photography world have not gone unnoticed. You were shortlisted for our programme!

However, we do not have a sufficient portfolio on your work and as such, we are waiting to see more of your capability. We urge you to do as you are now, so we can guarantee you a spot in the next programme in two years. 

Information about our biennial programme is provided in the attachment above. For more details please contact our help desk at 017-534347334 or visit our website at www.goingsvt.org/snapshoot 

We’ll keep monitoring your progress from the sidelines and we can’t wait to see your growth. Keep on shining.

Yours sincerely,  
Joshua Hong  
Managing Director  
Going Seventeen Corporation

Back in Germany, evening had fallen leaving everyone to go out into the vibrant night for the last time. The day had rounded up with the promised barbecue at Sicheng’s mansion before everyone departed for the night in high spirits. 

“So what’s the plan for our last night Markie?” Jaemin asked as they were greeted with the cold air outside Sicheng’s not-so-humble abode. 

“Your research didn’t give you any ideas for today?” Mark playfully teased the younger. 

“Well I thought you could choose since it’s the last night and I’ve been choosing everyday” Jaemin muttered. Mark could sense the change in the younger’s mood but didn’t say anything. He was waiting for Jaemin to tell him himself. 

“It’s a Monday so it’s a must to visit Berlin’s gay beach!” Mark cheered, hoping to make the younger smile. 

It worked. 

“What’s so special about the beach on a Monday?” Jaemin giggled at Mark’s excitement. The latter wanted to pull the blue-haired into a tight hug because he _looked. So. Cute!!!_

“A special party night with discounted food and drinks and the best part?? No heteros allowed” Mark explained, his mouth pulled into a wide grin as he grabbed Jaemin’s hand. They were used to it now but it didn’t stop their hearts from tingling a bit. 

The beach was brilliant from the start. Upon their arrival at the entrance, the ticket-guy let them in free for being a couple (in the face of free tickets, neither bothered to correct the guy) and they were immediately offered complimentary drinks which got them slightly buzzed. 

Any shame discarded by the buzz in their veins, Mark and Jaemin actively participated in the games that were hosted before the latter dragged Mark towards a group of people playing beach volleyball. 

Jaemin absolutely killed it while Mark… absolutely sucked ass. But the most important thing was that they had fun. Three sets later and Mark felt exhausted, finding a seat on the cool sand as he resorted to taking pictures of the blue-haired boy who continued his match with the other beach-goers. 

Now that he was left to his own devices, Mark thought a lot about how empty his life felt when he hadn’t met Jaemin. In just a month, the latter had given him a motivation that would never run dry. He’d been happy. Really happy. Which is why he didn’t know how to feel now that they were about to part. Mark knew himself and he knew himself well. In fact he took pride in his great sense of self-awareness. Mark knew he was bad at communicating with others. Somehow, Jaemin had breezed past that and had gotten close to him. However, Mark had a very bad habit of not keeping in touch over long distance. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Ten or Jiwoo; he just found it hard to text or call. He didn’t know if Jaemin would be as persistent as his friends in maintaining contact and he knew it wasn’t fair to ask that of the younger. 

“What’re you thinking about?” Jaemin’s arrival to his side interrupted his train of thoughts. “You’re lame by the way, leaving me to play with strangers by myself” he teased lightly. 

“You’re lame too” Mark countered playfully. “You just wanted me to continue embarrassing myself in front of everyone”

“No it was cute” Jaemin replied simply. “And you still haven’t answered my question” he was now sitting on the sand beside the older. 

_What do I say,_ Mark thought to himself. _That I’m really sad that we’re parting and I’m even more fucking scared that we’ll never see or talk to each other again because I’m an idiot with a chronic communication problem?_

“You can take your time Markie” Jaemin muttered softly, leaning his head onto Mark’s shoulder. 

“I’m staying behind” Mark blurted out. “I got an offer for this one month programme and I’m really gonna miss you. Really really miss you” he swallowed deeply. 

And Jaemin’s laughter sounded like music to his ears. “Congrats Markie!! I’ll miss you too so make sure you keep in contact” he patted the older on the back. “You deserve to keep moving up in your career so stop being sad and smile you dolt. Actually I got an email from the same place encouraging me to do better so I can join the programme later” Jaemin smiled sheepishly. 

“Thanks Jaem… for everything. I couldn’t have done it without you. I don’t know where I’d be without you. I’ll admit I’m an idiot so please… no matter what… please don’t forget about me” Mark’s words bore so many meanings that the younger obviously wouldn’t get but Jaemin simply nodded with _that angelic smile._

“Of course I won’t forget you” Jaemin said. “How could I forget the best photographer in the world?” He giggled. 

And Mark was overcome with emotions that overflowed the constraints he set for himself such that he found himself leaning in towards the younger. 

Instinctively, Jaemin’s eyes fluttered shut as the older wrapped him in a hug. Jaemin’s body filled with warmth and another familiar feeling that he hasn’t experienced in a while. But why did he also sort of wish for something more?

“Shotaro wouldn’t be happy with what his mentee just said” Mark laughed softly into Jaemin’s neck, causing the latter’s hairs to raise slightly. 

“I’m sure he’d understand” Jaemin replied blissfully. 

And as they remained in each other’s warm embrace with the moonlit waves of the sea before them and the background sounds of the people partying behind them, Mark realised that it was neither jealousy nor admiration he felt for the younger,

But love. 

And of course, as Jaemin lay in bed that night, his thoughts pondered on whether he’d heard what Mark had incoherently mumbled into his neck as they slow danced to Troye Sivan on the beach. 

_“I think I like you”_

No. He definitely didn’t hear right. 

The following morning, Jaemin dropped by the studio to say his last goodbye. He’d already said his goodbye to Mark who left that night. 

“Jaeminnn I’ll miss you so much”  
“Jaem we didn’t spend that much time together but I realised that you’re the light of my life”  
“Na Jaemin make sure you keep in touch”

Jaemin could barely focus on one person at a time as his friends surrounded him and with their own words of goodbye. He couldn't help but marvel at how he’d managed to meet a group of amazing people all at once. He knew he’d definitely miss them. The studio had given him so many happy memories. 

Sharon walked up to him then, her mascara rimmed eyes were glossy with tears and while he softened at the sight of the older woman, he couldn’t help but note that her mascara was waterproof. You’d never catch Sharon slipping. 

“Jaemie dear, we have something for you” her voice shook with emotion.

All at once, the blue-haired beauty was presented with a gorgeous bouquet of pink roses and Asian lilies that Sharon had been hiding behind her back, a cute little graduation certificate from Gayoung and a trophy for winning their hearts from Doyeon and Mingi. Apparently the models had gotten it last night after Sicheng’s barbecue. 

At that point, Jaemin couldn’t hold it in anymore, _what did I do to receive this much love?_ And he tore up, glass-like tears dripping down his cheeks. 

Automatically the people around him began to coo. 

“It’s so unfair, how do you look that pretty even when you cry” Mingi groaned. 

“It looks like a picture of you right now deserves to go in the Louvre” Erika chipped in. 

Feeling embarrassed, Jaemin wiped away his tears before speaking. “But why? I barely spoke in the group chat, I didn’t really get to go out with you guys either”

Yoojung smiled at his confusion. “You were with us when we needed someone the most. I was struggling with self confidence and you motivated and encouraged me”

“I just couldn’t get anything right and you helped me feel comfortable in front of the camera” Doyeon chipped in. 

“You gave me advice and listened to me when I felt my views weren’t being heard” Jun added. 

“You covered for me and looked after me when I got injured” Mingi rounded up. “You don’t realise it but you helped each and everyone of us Jaeminie. You’re like an angel that came down from heaven, touching each of our lives. You deserve all of the love in the world”

“You guys…” but Jaemin couldn’t complete his sentence before he was overcome by his tears again. 

“Are you crying already?” A voice spoke out in disappointment. “But I haven’t given you _my_ gift yet”. It was the top model and the cousin of Jaemin’s best friend, Dong Sicheng. He casually strode towards Jaemin with his attractive long legs. 

“Here, I think you’ll like it”

It was a camera, a very very expensive top class camera. A camera Jaemin wouldn’t even dream of getting until he was rich and successful. It wasn’t even an ordinary camera. It was engraved with his name. 

“A little something to remember us by” Sicheng fidgeted slightly, a little nervous about Jaemin’s reaction to the present. _Was it too much? Or was it not enough? Maybe he doesn’t like this brand-_

The taller’s thoughts were interrupted by a sudden force. The younger has jumped into his arms. After a second, Sicheng reciprocated as he hugged Jaemin back. 

“Awww group hug!” Minghao yelled before all the models, and then Shotaro and the camera crew joined the hug. 

Once they had taken a photo before finally pulling away from Jaemin, Shotaro told the younger to make sure to keep in contact with his mentor (“make sure you update me with your progress and questions every week!”) before dropping him off at the airport where Jaemin’s journey had begun. 

Suddenly missing Jiwoo who had left a day before, Jaemin took the time he had at the boarding gate to upload the group photo onto his social media. With a sigh, he slipped his phone back into the pocket of his favourite mint green hoodie, knowing that this was only the beginning.

**SOCMED POST:**

> chapter 9.3
> 
> — lys ;-; nomin/markmin fic (@miltokki) [March 5, 2021](https://twitter.com/miltokki/status/1367986261823225867?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts?  
> or as usual, [drop a cc?](www.curiouscat.me/miltokki)
> 
> sorry if there were more typos than usual @.@  
> i literally wrote this chapter with one eye shut because i've got an annoying migraine that refuses to leave ¬.¬
> 
> if you didn't understand or have no recollection of ten's description of the incident, i'd recommend reading part 1 but prepare for angst and loads of it !! it'll also give further insight on the characters and you'd probably understand their actions and thoughts here much better  
> if you can't read angst or are just here for the markmin then read on  
> (i say read on as if i uploaded the next chapter yet ;-;)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note that ''Othrys" is jeno's frat!
> 
> hiii ~  
> i'm so sorry it took me this long to update @.@  
> so far i've been having online lessons but we just started physically going to school and  
> 1) i live far away  
> 2) i have exams  
> thank you for all the support in my ccs, it's really heartwarming (>~<)/
> 
> also i'm really really happy i got offered a place at med school!!

_Hanguge osin geoseul hwanyeonghabnida_

Disembarking from the aeroplane that returned him to his home nation - his country that he hadn’t been in for two months - Na Jaemin was immediately greeted by the warm night of Seoul. The humidity of the air around him in contrast to the frosty winds of Germany which his body had gotten accustomed to, caused the young blue-haired man to perspire. Luckily he had brought a handkerchief in advance. 

Murmuring a slight thank you to the staff that greeted the arrivals, Jaemin followed the airport signs that directed him towards the baggage claim area where he needed to collect one suitcase (which was evidently larger than the one he left the country with). _I’m so tired_ , he thought to himself. The long flight had done more than fill his muscles with fatigue, hours spent stationary in an economy class seat with nothing but uninteresting movies to flick through. Not even halfway through the flight and the young man had given up and gone to sleep, hoping that the air hostess would wake him up with the arrival of food. 

Collecting his box and going through customs was a brief and simple affair and before he knew it, he was walking into the arrivals section, eyes roaming around for one of his friends who would come and pick him up.  
Johnny wasn’t particularly difficult to identify; his tall stature and casual posture setting him apart from everyone else in the room. 

Suddenly feeling more energised at the sight of his precious friend, Jaemin sped up his pace, rushing to embrace Johnny. Expecting a hug, it gave the younger a pleasant surprise to feel his feet lift off the ground. Johnny spun him around gently before dropping him back onto his feet. 

“Welcome back Jaeminnie!!” The tall man greeted jovially, his mouth drawn into a wide grin which Jaemin had really missed. 

“You don’t know how much I missed you Johnny hyung!” Jaemin smiled genuinely. His heart felt like it had been freed, maybe from the moment he stepped into Korea knowing he was going to reunite with his friends. To Jaemin, more than his parents, his little tight knit group of friends were his home. They were his anchor. Sometimes it scared the blue haired boy how much he had come to rely on them. Although it was minimising day by day, he couldn’t help the tiny feeling deep down that they may leave him one day. Like Jeno did. 

Discarding the negative thoughts, Jaemin grabbed his suitcase to follow Johnny to wherever he parked his vehicle. But Johnny stopped the younger, taking the suitcase away from him. 

“We missed you even more, so so much” Johnny explained, leading the way to the parking lot with Jaemin’s box in tow. “I think if you stayed away a little longer the guys would’ve fully lost their shit”

“It must’ve been a lot to handle, what with us being the only normal people in the group” Jaemin chortled as he slicked his bangs back. It was too hot, way too hot. He could almost cringe at how everything seemed to stick. His clothes to his skin and his bangs to his forehead. 

“What do you mean Jaem? You’re just as crazy as the rest of them” The older snorted. “The only difference is that you know when to switch off”

“ _Me???_ ” Jaemin scoffed in indignation. “There’s no way you can compare me to Yangyang, Hendery or even Ten hyung”

“I’m sure the others would agree”Johnny laughed at the expression on Jaemin’s face. They had now gotten to the car so the older was fitting the large box into the boot. 

“I would argue with you hyung” Jaemin stifled a yawn as he got into the passenger seat. “But I’m really tired”

“But you just sat down for a few hours, why would you be tired?” Johnny started, but the look the younger immediately sent him was enough incentive for him to shut up and drive. 

The trip home was relatively uneventful with Johnny and Jaemin bopping their heads lightly to the beat of a familiar pop song on the radio. The air conditioner cooled the beads of sweat that had been forming along Jaemin’s brow and he turned to look outside his window in satisfaction. The sign boards standing at attention at the sides of the road, indicating locations with Korean names… Billboards advertising beauty products with the face of a female actress from that one drama… the 7/11s that stood out with their windows displaying stacks of beverages and little plastic tables littered in front…

Without a doubt, Jaemin was home. 

Quite frankly, he didn’t want to get up. 

Upon arrival at the dark dorm room which had been uninhabited for two months now, Jaemin (well Johnny actually), had dumped the heavy suitcase on the floor and subsequently sprawled onto his beloved four poster bed. 

“Come on Jaem, we need to go over to Olympus” Johnny nudged the younger patiently. “Don’t you want to see the squad? It would be a shame if you didn’t”

“Why couldn’t they come over here?” He whined, kicking his feet like a child. 

“The frat missed you too”

_I doubt it_ , Jaemin thought. Whenever he was there he only ever spent his time in either of Johnny or Yangyang’s rooms. He figured that the fact he didn’t live there with the other members helped to cement the sort of wall he felt between him and the others. It wasn’t so much that they didn’t get along but more like he know how to get close with the hyungs. He didn’t think he was worth missing, at the very least. 

Waves of fatigue rolled across the blue-haired boy, cajoling him to go to bed that minute. But thanks to his self-discipline, Jaemin got up to take a much needed shower - not forgetting to send a quick text to Mark. 

Markie  
  
I'm home :)  
  


Reverberating in the air was the bass-boosted music being spun by Minhyuk’s DJ friend. The atmosphere was charged with excitement, anticipation and electricity - as if something _big_ was about to happen. Johnny and Jaemin hadn’t even pulled up to the Olympus frat house yet, but the latter could perceive the tension and the faint vibrations of echoing beats.

“Is there a party nearby?” Jaemin asked in curiosity. He was familiar with college bashes as he’d been to quite a few with Jeno and his frat, but none as loud had ever been thrown in the section of campus where the Olympus frat was situated. The only big parties in the neighbourhood were the ones thrown by the influential frat itself.

“Yeah something like that” Johnny replied vaguely with a noncommittal grunt. Flashing his indicator, he deftly turned into the familiar street leading to the house. It was satisfying really, how smoothly the older manoeuvred the vehicle with a flick of his wrist and casual spins of the steering wheel; for a while Jaemin watched entranced such that he failed to realise they had pulled up into the house’s parkway - and the the lights that were constantly on were now switched off.

“Oh we’re here already!” Jaemin smiled goofily at his absent-mindedness, the action of Johnny unlocking his seatbelt jerking him out of his trance and back into present reality. “Wait what happened to the lights? Did Jungwoo hyung finally realise how massive a sum they added to the electricity bills?” He laughed.

“Something like that” but Johnny was smiling at the younger’s charming obliviousness, following silently behind Jaemin as the latter let himself into the building.

Magical. Enchanting. _Spellbinding._

Stepping into the stygian front room was almost like casting a charm as instantly the lights switched on, illuminating the room and the people inside. One millisecond later and the air became saturated with cheers as friends, acquaintances and strangers alike began to congratulate the blue-haired boy. The cream walls were festooned with banners reading ‘Welcome home Jaeminnie’ and balloons in virtually every colour available. Jeonghan stood in a corner pulling streamers with a huge smile plastered across his face as he regarded Jaemin with affection. Barrelling through the throng of partying students who ensnared the younger (who still stood unmoving in shock) in words of goodwill, a young man pounced on him lovingly.

“Jaemin!!!”

It was enough to trigger Jaemin back into response. The sudden welcome party had shocked him (pleasantly) and the sheer number of people that had gathered to celebrate his return left him overwhelmed but also quite emotional. It meant he was at least worth _something_ to more people than his best friends. Knowing it was his best friends that had most likely organised the event filled Jaemin’s robust heart with impossibly more love and appreciation for them. The cherry on top was Yangyang leaping into his arms..

“Yangie!!!” he yelled in response and a beat later (to his future embarrassment) his eyes started to leak tears. Of course he had missed his friends but it hadn’t occurred to him until now how much he’d felt lonely without them even if he had made valuable friendships in Germany.

“Oh now come on, I know we’re amazing but don't start crying” Ten rolled his eyes playfully but his grin gave away his own happiness at the younger’s return.

“Ignore Ten, he missed you so much that he even started planning your wedding” Hendery spilled with glee, patting Jaemin’s back enthusiastically to express his own joy.

“I guess the gang is back” Yangyang whispered as the group hugged the crying boy. The gang truly was back, and Jaemin truly was home.

-

“Hi Jaemin!” A relatively tall girl with dark hair greeted amiably, walking up to him. “I just wanted to welcome you back, the whole campus missed you a lot”

“Thank you… but I think you may be exaggerating a bit” Jaemin chuckled slightly. He actually had wondered though, about why so many people had come, but he figured it was because it was an Olympus party. He barely knew people - other than in the business department and the clubs he helped out. 

“No I don’t believe I am” the girl shook her head with a knowing smile. “I’m Kim Sujin by the way” she added, extending her hand for Jaemin to shake. 

“Sujin-ah that’s unfair! You’re meeting him without me” another tall girl with long caramel hair came running up to them. They were in one of the balconies adjoined a room upstairs where his friends were in. Jaemin had left the room to get some fresh air. Despite his happiness, he couldn’t help but succumb to his jet lag. 

“Jaemin, this is my friend Seo Minhee” Sujin gestured towards the girl with caramel hair who was looking at him with wide brown eyes. 

“Hi, Minhee” Jaemin greeted politely as he leaned on the railing, relishing the breeze that carded through his blue locks. 

“Hi! I’ve been wanting to meet you for a long time now!! Can we take a picture?” Minhee gushed, digging her hands in her clutch bag for her phone. “Sorry if I’m being weird, I’m just rather _eccentric_ ”

“No you’re not. You’re just stupid” Sujin gave her friend a dirty look before turning to face Jaemin with a smile that was now beginning to freak him out a little. “Now about that picture…”

Smiling wanly at the camera, he took a few selfies with the girls, mentally calculating his escape. Sujin and Minhee weren’t too bad… they were just a bit too _much_ and the blue-haired boy would much rather lay his head in Ten’s lap as the older stroked his head, lulling him to sleep. 

“By the way Jaemin, have you met Jeno yet?” Minhee asked a little too enthusiastically. 

Subtly inhaling, Jaemin tried to push down the flicker of disappointment that appeared when he felt that dull, receding throb beneath his chest. Months had gone past with Jaemin accumulating enough happy moments to get past the pain of his heartbreak, but the bruises still remained - like a hateful reminder of the annoying effect his ex still had on him. 

“No” he replied firmly. It was almost funny how no one mentioned Jeno much around him back when they were actually dating. 

“He’s here you know! At this party!! I saw him but he’s sooo difficult to approach…” Minhee babbled animatedly. 

“Minhee gosh will you _shut up_ , why are you trying to set him up with Jeno so bad? You know he and Renjun have a thing” Sujin rebuked her loquacious friend. 

“Oh yeahhh, now that I think about it they’re really adorable… probably a better couple than nomin would be but my nominist heart is very stubborn”

“ _Nomin?_ ” Jaemin voiced his confusion aloud. 

“Oh dear you really _don’t_ see what happens on social media” Sujin giggled. 

By now Jaemin really wanted to get away; the balcony overlooking the entrance to the frat house was evidently far more stifling than the rooms stuffed with students inside. 

As if sensing his discomfort, just then Jeonghan called out to him from inside “Jaem come and play with us! Can you help us get the drinks?”

**SOCMED POST:**

> chapter 10
> 
> — lys ;-; nomin/markmin fic (@miltokki) [March 13, 2021](https://twitter.com/miltokki/status/1370568984370761729?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw)

Rejoicing internally that he finally had a reason to mutter his ‘it was nice to meet you’s as he walked off the balcony. Going back inside, music seemed to ricochet off the walls as the DJ was apparently keen to keep the whole campus awake. Yet somehow, even amongst the entropy of sound, Jaemin was able to hear the soft voice of a familiar person who leaned against the wall. 

“Liar” Renjun called him before slipping away into the mass of bodies and red solo cups so quickly Jaemin almost thought he imagined it. But Jaemin wasn’t drunk, wasn’t tipsy, wasn’t even buzzed. And Jaemin definitely didn’t imagine it. The blood circulating in his veins had run ice cold. _Am I afraid of Renjun?_

Jaemin’s skin prickled with apprehension as he knew _that_ person was here. The person he hadn’t seen in many months now. It made Jaemin hate himself, the way he let a _cheater_ continue to have a negative hold on him. _Why should I care? Why do I have to be affected?_

Jaemin was convinced he no longer had feelings for his ex. But they had been together since childhood, they understood each other (or at least they _used_ to), sticking together for them was a habit - almost like _breathing_. So Jaemin couldn’t help but feel like a part of him had been ripped out when he split with Jeno. Maybe it was because he’d spent more time developing his relationship with Jeno rather than finding more about himself. Maybe he was just shallow with no depth to his personality at all. Or maybe he was just a masochist. 

But he wasn’t a masochist. He hated the pain. He hated the shadows that lurked in his heart. He hated the insecurity that at some point all his friends would leave him. He hated the fact that he thought he wasn’t worth it. He hated Jeno. 

Giving out high fives with his easy bright smile, Jaemin navigated his way through the dancing students in the living room downstairs on his way to the kitchen. _He hated how natural it was for him to give a fake smile. He hated that just the sight of Renjun was enough to make him feel like he was regressing._

Everyone was having so much fun, _so why do I feel like an outcast at my own party?_ Jaemin sighed as he realised he was having one of his emotional breakdowns right in the middle of a social event. He always had his episodes in the middle of the night in his dorm room. Rarely did he ever have them when he slept over with Johnny or Yangyang. He never had them at all while he was in Germany. _I miss Mark_. Mark was even worse at social gatherings than he was. Mark and his adorably awkward self. 

Taking in his surroundings, the blue-haired boy noticed the crowd around the centre table. The glass table was littered with half full cans of beer, crushed solo cups, some cigarette butts and cards. An unopened can of coke sat elegantly amidst the mess, the glistening container showing off how chilled it was. A familiar glint of a ring on the toned fingers of the person now opening it. The veiny hands now lifting the can up towards his lips. The bobbing of his Adam’s apple as he downed the soda in _one...two...three...four_ seconds. The sigh of relief that escaped his thin lips as he dropped the can back onto the table. The face that he had once adored-

( _You’re an adonis, a Greek god!!_ )

-the low rumbling tone of his voice as he spoke to his friends. The man he hasn’t seen in almost half a year. The man who broke his heart. Lee Jeno. 

_What was he doing here???_

“Hey Jen you’d be even sexier if you could down your beer as quickly as you do your cola” Lucas smirked at his frat brother. 

“He’s sexy enough already” Renjun piped up from his seat on Jeno’s lap. The smaller was casually tapping away on his phone, unbothered as usual. 

“Yeah he can like… totally do like a… Coca Cola ad or something” an unfamiliar girl was saying, obviously looking to impress. 

Upon the sight of his ex-boyfriend and his frat brothers, Jaemin was immediately reminded of the last time they were all in a room together. They were fine and unaffected to the point it was so _unfair_. He was always the one who was wronged, who was the outsider looking in, like he had a problem and everyone wanted to keep him at arm’s length. 

_No. I’m not weak. I’m just jet lagged. They have no power over me._

But Jaemin failed to realise that there was nothing wrong with accepting that he could be weak sometimes. Perhaps if he did, he could’ve avoided unnecessary pain. 

With a tiny scoff, the blue-haired boy marched into the kitchen with renewed strength. To his surprise, the room was empty despite the fridge being stocked to the brim with drinks. 

“It’s because there’s a van with drinks out by the pool. It’s easier for people to get drinks from there than to shuttle between the pool and the kitchen. Plus inside would get really wet” a voice explained the answer to Jaemin’s thoughts. 

“Why are you here Jeno?” Jaemin asked bluntly, not even looking at the boy as he piled a tray with drinks to bring upstairs. “You know what? Never mind. Don’t answer. I don’t even want to know”. And with that, the blue-haired boy stood up to leave. 

“Jaemin wait” Jeno put his hand on the younger’s shoulder. “I-”

“Save it Jeno” Jaemin spat, shrugging the former’s hand off. “I’m really really tired”. 

But apparently Jeno couldn’t understand the concept of ‘leave me alone’ as he tried again, holding Jaemin’s arm. The younger didn’t even need to shrug him off a second time as it took a heartbeat for Jeno to drop his arm like he was burnt immediately Renjun burst into the kitchen. 

“I thought so” Jaemin uttered before stepping out of the kitchen, not even bothering to mask the bitterness in his tone and words. 

The kitchen was silent for a few seconds as Renjun stared at his lover and his lover stared at his hand. Stomaching the ugly feelings rising in his chest, the smaller boy claimed himself down as he looked for the right words. 

Renjun recognised the feeling of attachment. Usually he wouldn’t let his relationships get past this stage; he always broke it off before it could ever turn into anything more. He wasn’t like that loser Jaemin anyway. He wasn’t into investing so much into something that could easily break based on the flow of human emotions. _And Na Jaemin is meant to be the business major._

Renjun shouldn’t feel jealous whenever Jeno looked at someone else. He shouldn’t be insecure when Jeno wasn’t thinking about him, he shouldn’t want to throw up at the prospect of Jeno hanging out with someone that wasn’t him for anything longer than an hour. 

Renjun needed to break up with Jeno. 

“Jeno”

Renjun pretended he didn’t feel a rush of satisfaction at how quickly he garnered the taller’s attention. 

“What’s wrong Jen?”

Jeno looked at Renjun’s feet. “I don’t know, I’m confused. Jaemin confuses me. My feelings are a mess. I’m a mess right?”

Jeno looked so precious in that moment that Renjun simply didn’t want to let anyone else have him. _I want to be the only one to see him like this._

“Listen Jen. Relax. You don’t have any significant feelings for Jaemin, it’s just guilt. Fuck feelings. So loosen up, don’t be regretful and forget about him completely. He was in the wrong; he was controlling and possessive and _you had no choice._ ” Renjun was hugging Jeno tightly now. 

“ _I think_ ” Renjun breathed, “ _you need some real booze… not that sugary soda shit. You’d look really sexy too downing it in one shot…_ ”

“ _Oh yeah? What booze would you recommend?_ ” Jeno replied, a slight smirk tugging on his lips. 

“ _I heard… that I can be really alcoholic...I can make a guy drunk in an instant with my ki-_ ” Renjun couldn’t complete his sentence as Jeno’s wolfish instincts took over, capturing the smaller’s lips with his own. Eyes lidded with lust, Renjun kissed back just as voraciously. He wanted to completely wipe out any thoughts of all the people that turned Jeno’s head. He wanted to erase Jeno’s complicated feelings for Jaemin. He wanted to sear an indelible image of himself in Jeno’s mind. Their tongues fought for dominance as Jeno deepened the kiss, almost inhaling Renjun’s entire being. Jeno worshipped Renjun’s sweet sweet lips, he adored the taste of his tongue, exploring the cavern of the smaller’s mouth as if he was searching for something inside. Their hands gripped each other tightly like they were afraid to let each other go. 

From the entrance to the kitchen, Donghyuck was greeted with the visual of his friends making out right in front of the fridge. Sadly, he also heard part of their conversation. _My friends are idiots_ , he sighed before traipsing away from the scene. 

Donghyuck waited for his friend and roommate to come out towards the pool before grabbing his hand and pulling him away to a secluded corner, away from the prying eyes of the gossips lurking by the poolside who waited for the slightest chance to make a hit tweet or some fodder for the college tea page. 

“What is it Hyuck?” Renjun asked in confusion, frowning slightly at the younger’s antics. “Jeno must be looking for me”

“Junnie you’ve gotten attached” Donghyuck stated with a sigh as he pinched his nose bridge. 

“I have not” Renjun stated just as firmly, though they both knew he was in denial. “I know when to stop. I have boundaries I set for myself”

“You’re in denial Renjun. Stop lying to yourself or you’ll get even more hurt later on. Please stop doing this to yourself and admit it. Admit that you actually like Jeno” Donghyuck pressed further. 

He had known Renjun from day one at SMU as they were introduced as roommates in the college dorms. Renjun then had been rather quiet and sort of unstable and vulnerable. He cried a lot, and got angry a lot, but Hyuck had always been through it all with him. He knew that although neither of them liked it, Renjun always fared better with direct confrontation. 

Donghyuck had made the initial mistake of tiptoeing around the older for fear of upsetting someone who was already upset. He thought he was being considerate by not stating the obvious and just choosing to support his friend no matter what wrong decision he made. This caused him to go along with Renjun’s stupid idea of relationships with no attachment. This was also how he introduced Renjun to his friend and architecture classmate Lee Jeno. 

Of course by now Donghyuck had changed his approach, but he feared the damage had already been done. He’d hoped that Jeno would be the one to help Renjun change his viewpoint. He never knew that Jeno hadn’t ended things with Jaemin until the latter turned up asking about the “project” Jeno seemed to be working on. That was when Donghyuck realised that Jeno and Renjun’s relationship was messy and less than respectable. He’d wanted to tell Jaemin of course, but he didn’t know him too well and he looked really stressed at the time. Moreover, it was up to Jeno to come clean. 

To Donghyuck, his friends weren’t bad, but their actions were. His hope was to help them change for the better. 

“Hyuck I’ve told you I’m not attached. I know what I’m doing. Please leave me alone sheesh” Renjun snapped before stalking off. He immediately felt bad because he knew deep down that Donghyuck was the one who cared about him the most and kept his best interests at heart. _I’m not attached. I’m not attached. I’m not attached. I just want my life right now to continue as it is. I want Na Jaemin to disappear._

Yangyang had just gone to say hi to some friends by the poolside, exchanging a couple of fist bumps with some bros and stopping for some tiny banter with other students. He was a people person for sure, and if he hadn’t realised it yet, he certainly did now as he recognised roughly 80% of the students in attendance. 

Of course that meant he also happened to bump into another familiar person. A person he hadn’t expected to be here tonight despite it being an ‘open-for-all’ party. 

“Lee Jeno what are you playing at? Why are you here?” He berated the guy who was currently digging through a wine cooler.

“And who the fuck are you?” Jeno snapped in response, still searching for a particular drink. He was quite drunk and with his less than perfect vision, he simply _wasn’t_ in the mood for cheeky banter with some random guy. 

“Look dude I don’t know what you’re up to but stay far away from Jaemin. How do you even have the guts to show up here after that shit you pulled?” Yangyang had half the mind to throw the taller guy in the pool, but he didn’t want to make a scene that would stress Jaemin out. He also didn’t know if Jeno could swim and being a murderer wasn’t something he wanted written on his resume. 

If Jeno wasn’t pissed before, he was certainly aggravated now. Finally turning to look up at the person ruining his day, he quickly recognised the guy that came into the room that day in Sun and Moon to pick him up from the floor. The same guy who helped Jaemin move out of their shared apartment into god knows where. He felt an intense hatred for the guy already. 

“Listen here you cheerio looking bastard. Mind your own fucking business. Stop intruding on whatever’s going on between me and Jaemin. If you like that guy don’t come for me but hit on him instead. Though I guess the reason you’d come for me instead is because you know your position in the friend zone is permanent” Jeno guffawed. 

Moments before Yangyang was about to throw a punch, he felt his arm being steadied by someone strong yet calming. Johnny hyung. 

“Johnny please can we kick this douche and his friends out. Tell me we can because I’m not tolerating this shit. I’m sure Ten hyung and Hendery will agree” Yangyang was fuming. 

“Calm down Yangie. Think about it, Olympus and Othrys are friends. Kicking them out without a proper explanation would cause a scene. How do you think Jaem will take it? I also don’t think he wants people prying into his private life and offering their opinions on his past relationship with Jeno” Johnny advised as he steered the younger away from Jeno. 

Deep inside, Yangyang knew Johnny was right but the injustice of the issue was difficult for him to reconcile. Didn’t it mean that Jeno would basically get away with treating Jaemin like a rag?

“Jaem has probably seen him already hyung” he suddenly thought in alarm. “We need to see if he’s okay, you know he doesn’t like to worry others so he won’t tell us himself”

“Yangie, _relax_. In your current state you’ll stress him out more. I’ll look for him and take him to my room to sleep. Ten’s already resting there” Johnny soothed the younger’s nerves. Yangyang didn’t know what they’d do without Johnny in their friend group. They’d probably all go insane at some point and internally combust. 

“Hyung… you’re so _wise_ ” Yangyang burst out, marvelling at his friend. 

“Haha and you’re so silly and worrisome, but you’re really caring. See you later Yangyang and remember to _relax_ ” Johnny said with a smile, saluting as he left to look for Jaemin. 

Just as Yangyang decided to go look for Hendery, a guy similar in height with tan skin and wavy honey-coloured hair approached him, giving him a pat on the back. 

“You’re a really good friend Yangyang” the guy said with his eyes shining brightly and a sweet timbre to his voice. “Don’t be perturbed by that asshole and let’s do our best to make everyone happy because that’s what makes us happy right?”

Yangyang couldn’t help but smile at this stranger. He figured he didn’t want them to be just strangers anymore. “Do you wanna play video games upstairs?”

“Lead the way” he laughed, and Yangyang was pretty sure his mouth would split open from how much he was smiling. 

Crazy sexy cool  
  
I met a cute guy  
  
he’s v v cute  
  
Jaem  
  
aww yangie  
  
Ten  
  
who is he??  
  
idk his name… （＞﹏＜）  
  
Jaem  
  
fighting!! (ง •̀_•́)ง  
  


A week had gone by with no message from Mark. Jaemin was beginning to feel a bit stupid, leaving a list of messages which weren’t even being read. Initially he thought maybe had the wrong number but it couldn’t be the case. Mark had texted him before in Germany to be sure he got Jaemin’s number right. 

Mark was probably too busy with the programme to pay attention to his phone. Surely he wouldn’t be completely occupied seven days of the week? Jaemin didn’t know but Mark’s behaviour seemed to follow a similar pattern, giving the younger a horrible sense of dejavu. 

“It feels like I imagined it all you know? Like the only reason I believe we even hung out is my Instagram posts” Jaemin said to Yangyang. Like any typical day, the blue-haired boy was in Olympus, lounging in his best friend’s room to kill time in between lectures. Usually he’d be pretty occupied with his part time work at Taeil’s Tasty Treats as well as volunteering with clubs, but everyone wanted to give him time to settle in properly from his trip. 

He was low-key dreading going back to the cafe though because of a certain new coworker… Jaemin figured everything would be okay if he could manage not to turn into an emotional train wreck every time he saw Renjun. 

“It was probably just a sort of… platonic? fling” Jaemin continued, feeling a little pathetic. “Maybe us having fun together was one-sided and I’m the only one making a fuss about it”. The blue-haired boy couldn’t help but feel complicated about how it was always him with the short end of the stick, always him getting affected. “I don’t even know what our relationship is but I thought we were at least friends”

“Give it a little more than a week” Ten piped up from where he lay sprawled on Yangyang’s bed. “He might have his reasons for not being able to contact you”

.

.

.

But a week and a half brought nothing to his messages but the harsh reminder that Mark simply didn’t care enough for him to bother to keep in contact. Jaemin wasn’t surprised though, no one other than his bestie squad were ever interested enough. They enjoyed his company temporarily while he was their best option until something or someone new came. Though Jaemin wasn’t surprised, he was still disappointed; the month spent exploring Berlin evidently meant nothing. 

“Sooo did you hear anything?” Ten asked the blue-haired boy. They were in Ten’s art classroom doing their requirements. 

Laughing at the question, Jaemin spoke up “nope nothing. Don’t worry though, I only need you guys my friends anyway” but Jaemin knew he felt somewhat insecure, like there was something about him that was unappealing to everyone. 

Ten’s face instantly hardened as he wore his tough expression. _Mark Lee is a goddamn idiot_ , he grimaced. 

“Hahaha Ten hyung you look even more upset and frustrated that I am” Jaemin chuckled light-heartedly. 

“Don’t worry about that douchebag Jaeminnie. He’s not worth it. Focus on your club instead” Yangyang advised his best friend from the bottom of his heart. 

“Uhh yeahh, about that… the club president was delayed by a month so I still have to wait till he comes back. 

“Why is Jaem surrounded by douches???” Hendery erupted. “Say the word Jaeminnie and I’ll match over to Jiwoo so she can sign you up immediately. What other approval does she even need? Didn’t she see your spectacular feats in Germany? I don’t get why you have to wait around for a slacker president”

“It’s okay Dery, I just need to wait a month. I’ll be okay” Jaemin said, trying to calm his best friend down. 

Shotaro hyung  
  
Yh Mark’s always been bad at text messages but he usually responds to emails!  
  
This is his email address  
  
markmeinyourheart@naver.com  
  
Thanks hyung ^o^  
  


Jaemin did have a shred of pride in himself; he didn’t want to look so clingy and feel as pathetic as he did in the past. He decided to send one last email to Mark before deciding to give up. They had only known each other for a month and although Jaemin really missed the older’s company, he wasn’t interested in trying too hard to maintain a relationship where the other wasn’t reciprocated. It really took a toll on his self esteem. He didn’t blame Mark though, neither did he dislike him now. Mark was probably too busy. 

From: nanajaemin@naver.com

Subject: Dear Mark

To: markmeinyourheart@naver.com

Dear Mark,

Sorry for bothering you with my texts even though you’re busy.

Back in Germany, Mark sat in front of his MacBook reading and rereading Jaemin’s email while drumming his fingers nervously on his desk. 

Jaemin wasn’t a bother in the slightest and he felt bad for making the younger feel that way. Mark hadn’t opened up any of his messages because he knew Jaemin would see it and expect a reply. But Mark didn’t know how to reply!

The days following Jaemin’s departure made Mark feel nostalgic every time he walked around the city of Berlin. Each time he picked out a new spot of interest, his first thought was to plan a day out with the blue-haired beauty. In short, he missed Jaemin. Just as much as Jaemin missed him. No offence to Shotaro, but it just wasn’t the same without the only person he actually enjoyed talking to about literally anything. 

Mark really wanted to reply to the text messages but he was afraid he’d mess up and type something stupid or awkward which would ruin whatever his relationship with Jaemin was. By the time he received the email, Mark knew he’d messed up. Jaemin was obviously giving up on him. He definitely needed to respond to the email. 

His reply remained in his drafts and were edited everyday but it still didn’t feel or sound right. The brunette wanted to pull out his hair in frustration. _Why am I even clumsier with typed out words than words spoken in real life?_ He groaned, rubbing his eyes. 

Days spent agonising over his reply dragged into a week as he procrastinated. The idea that his reply was already a week overdue stressed him out a little. How would he explain to Jaemin why he was sending his response so late?

Weeks dragged into a month and before he knew it, Mark was dragging himself onto the next plane back to Korea with the younger’s email not replied to and the text messages not opened and read.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um... there were some deep bits...  
> and more povs than usual...  
> i hope it wasn't confusing @.@
> 
> anyway thoughts?  
> or drop a [cc?](https://www.curiouscat.me/miltokki)


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